Going Back to the Beginning
by angel-castiel-rules-the-world
Summary: To understand the end, you must go back to the beginning. The story of how Castiel and Dean loved and lost, and maybe, with a little help from a friend (or two), loved again, after all, what does not kill us makes us stronger, right? But will they be strong enough to try again? Destiel human AU.
1. Prologue

**Hello my dear readers.**

 **I wrote this prologue some time ago. I wasn't sure of the story to go with it as such I have yet to publish it. But with the completion of one of my other stories I have had an idea of how this is going to go. As such decided to put it out there and see how many would be interested in reading yet another crazy rambling of my mind. I would like to say straight off that some might find a similarity to certain situations from 'How I Met Your Mother', but that is because I have watched all 9 seasons in like three weeks. It has some influence, but I felt that certain situations from that show would work here. You'll see what I mean if you stick with me, I promise this will work. Or as much as my other AU's do.**

 **Right, enough of my waffle. Here's the beginning, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel sat in a bar staring at the bottom of his glass, though however much he looked, it was still empty. What was he to do now? The drink was gone, and so was all he ever cared about, so how would he go on?

"Castiel." said a British voice beside him asking him close his eyes. It was a voice he knew far too well for his liking, it was the voice of Crowley.

"What do you want?" he grumbled as an answer as he felt the other man's eyes piercingly staring at him. He did not want this, he wanted to be alone right now. No that wasn't true, right now he wanted to be drunk out of his head. If that was even possible. But Crowley, him he did not want.

"To talk." Crowley replied amiably. He was not put off by Castiel's gruff exterior, he had had worse receptions after all. And he needed to rectify that which one of his own had ruined. There were rules of engagement he did not like to break, and those that did so in his name, he had to fix. He had a certain amount of honour, in his own way.

"About what?" Castiel growled glaring once more at his empty glass. If only he could fill it by just staring at it. That would be good, he couldn't afford to do it any other way after all. Damn it.

"Well for starters why you are here?" Crowley asked in reply, trying to catch the younger man's eye. He had come here to help his younger… friend, but it seemed he was not in the mood for it.

"I screwed up, what more do you want?" Castiel demanded bringing his head up suddenly and meeting Crowley's gaze with one of his own. His blue eyes radiating fury as only they could. And yet Crowley could still see the pain below. And it was the pain he intended it fix, if he could.

"The truth Castiel, the truth." Crowley replied unconcerned by the look which he knew would send a lesser man running from his companion. But he was not a lesser man, and he wanted to know what the hell had gone wrong so he could fix it.

"Well you had better buy me a drink then, cos this is a long story." Castiel responded with a snide smile which didn't fit his face. Castiel was not the bitter sort after all. Hmm, seemed this was worse than he thought.

"I have the time." Crowley replied even more interested in this story now.

"Then I'll have a whiskey." Castiel replied holding up his empty glass to the man next to him with a challenging look, just asking him to refuse, telling him he had had enough. But instead a fresh, full glass was placed in front of him and the barman removed the empty from his hand without question.

With the glass in front of Castiel Crowley turned to him waiting for him to fulfil his end of the deal.

"You might want to get them to leave the bottle, or two." Castiel murmured when he realised he wasn't getting out of this one. Crowley was going to insist he tell him it all, damn him. Ah hell, why not if it got him drinks for the night? It was story fit for the fools to tell after all. Though it was common enough, a tale of love and betrayal.

With a nod Crowley does just that and then sits back, waiting and Castiel knows he wouldn't be getting out of this, so he might as well get drunk as he talks, as such he drinks half of his whiskey in one go before returning the glass to the table and opening his mouth.

"It all started a long time ago, when I was young and innocent and thought I could put all the world to rights…"


	2. Chapter 1

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank** **Tie-Dyed Broadway for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the first chapter from the beginning, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel crossed the centre of the campus, anxious to not to be late for his lecture. He couldn't believe he was finally here. Finally he had made it to Stanford Law School. It was all he had ever dreamed about. He would have come here as an undergraduate, but he had stay home, look after his mother, as such he had gone to the local college to get his degree, but now he was here. He was free. He was in fact so happy to be there, and in so much of a rush to get to his first lecture, he completely missed seeing the easel set up by the fountain and as such tripped over it. Sending both himself and the artwork on it flying.

"'I'm so sorry. I wasn't concentrating where I was going, please forgive me-" Castiel rambled as he pulled himself up from the floor, but rather than being greeted by angry eyes as he had expected the man looking at him was laughing.

"I shouldn't worry about it. No doubt that was what it deserved. It really was a piece of crap. Hey you never know, you could have made it better, a true piece of modern art." The artist replied as he picked up his painting and showed it to Castiel so he could see how the colours had smudged together making the painting a mess.

"I don't think so." He replied with dubious voice. The picture now seemed to resemble a splodge, nothing more.

"Yeah you're probably right. Teach me to try and paint buildings right? You ever sat for a painting? You have the perfect features for a model." The artist said taking a look at him for the first time and securitising his features in a way Castiel had never had before. It made him rather uncomfortable.

"Umm, I've never really considered it. I must go I have lecture." He said trying to get away from the man who was looking at him, well like a painter would look at a subject he guessed, either that of a dog would look at a piece of meat, either way, he really needed to leave now.

"Sure, no problem, but if you ever want to consider the idea of being a model, not that I can pay you mind, call me. Here's my number." The artist said grabbing Castiel's hand and using his paint brush to write the numbers on his hand. Castiel had never met someone so forward, though this was an artist, maybe he did this regularly to find people to sit for him.

"Thank you. And again, I'm sorry." Castiel managed to mumble out before he pulled his hand away. He need to get to his lecture.

"No harm, no foul. It brought me you right?" The artist replied with a twinkle in his bright green eyes which made Castiel stand still for a second before he remembered he was running was late. He didn't have time for this, with a nod to the artist he was on his way once.

Castiel made it to his lecture with seconds to spare and breathed a loud sigh of relief as he settled into a chair, making the red headed woman next to him turn to give him a quizzical look. It would have been nothing more than a look, if she hadn't seen the painted numbers on his hand and grabbed it in a way he had never expected.

"So pulled already have you? And an artist by the looks of it. Good for you. I'm only taking this course for credits. I'm a computer nerd at heart." She said in a rush making Castiel blink at her and the look down at the numbers which had dried on his hand.

"I don't think I 'pulled'. He just asked me to model for him." Castiel replied confused now.

"Which is artist code for he thinks you're hot. Good for you, unless of course you don't swing that way, which if fine. I don't judge." The redhead replied still in rapid fire mode.

"Umm, I, umm?" Castiel responded. He was to disoriented from this conversation. Luckily the woman took pity on him and smiled while holding out her hand.

"The names Charlie."

"Castiel. Pleased to meet you." He replied shaking her hand finally having a grip on what was going on. But before either of them could speak any more the lecture started and Castiel was completely engrossed in the words being spoken by the man at the front of the room.

* * *

Once the lecture was finished Castiel had intended to go to the library to work through what he had learnt, but upon hearing this Charlie was having none of it.

"No way. Come with us to the coffee house, it's the best place to work." She said gesturing to some of the people who were already filing out of the room. And Castiel thought about it for a second, remembering his brother's words that he had never really had a proper college experience, never really made friends with his class mate. Well time to change that he guessed. He was here for the whole thing after all.

"Very well." he agreed collecting up his stuff and following Charlie out of the room. The people they were supposed to be going with seemed to have disappeared, but that didn't seem to worry Charlie. Instead she was quite happy chatting away with him as they walked once across campus.

"Well at least you're not knocking over my easel this time, guess that something." Said a voice as they crossed the quad making Castiel look up and find himself eye to eye once again with the green-eyed painter.

"I am sorry about earlier, if you need me to pay for any damages-" Castiel started to say when he recognised the artist. He wouldn't like to think he had ruined any of his work, and he had the money to pay if need be.

"I told you before, you made the painting better. So your lecture finished then?" The artist asked smiling at him in a way that seemed to make his green eyes twinkle rather attractively in Castiel's mind.

"Yes." He replied, though when that was followed by a beat of silence he could have kicked himself for his innate reply. Maybe Charlie had been right, maybe this artist was interested in him. And looking at him now, when he wasn't running somewhere else, he realise that he was a rather attractive artist at that.

"Cool." The artist replied smiling at him still, completely ignoring Charlie who was still at his side.

"Hi, I'm Charlie, Castiel's friend from class." She said interrupting the staring that was going on, it seemed to her that both men had run out of things to say, but it was obvious that they liked it other. As such, as a friend to Castiel, it was her duty to arrange for them to meet again. But she had to be crafty about it.

"Dean, the guy who met him via happy coincidence." Dean replied turned to the smiling redheaded woman at Castiel, so that was his name's, side. He wondered if she was more than just his friend from class, was he barking up the wrong tree with the beautiful blued eyed man in front of him? Was he straight after all? Dean didn't think so, but hell he had been wrong before.

"So I hear your looking for models, would I suit?" Charlie asked striking a pose where she pouted and tilted her head upwards like the models did for photo shoots.

"Well I-" Dean started to reply. In all honesty he really wasn't looking for models. He just wanted to paint the blue eyed guy, Castiel.

"I could ask my girlfriend to join me, but she isn't one for siting still for long." Charlie interrupted seeing Dean's hesitance. Yep she was right. This guy was definitely trying to pull Castiel.

"No need, you would be fine. And Castiel? You interested in modelling?" Dean replied catching on to the words her girlfriend. This woman wasn't interested in him, but she could be a way to get to Castiel, and for that, he would happily paint her.

"Umm, well-" Castiel replied not sure if modelling was really his thing. I mean he had come here to work, he did not want to waste time sitting for this artist, even if the man was very alluring, in fact it would be better if he didn't sit for him for that fact alone. He was here to work, no matter what Gabriel had said.

"Come on. It will be fun. Maybe we could model together?" Charlie suggested looking to Dean with a twinkle in her eyes. A twinkle the artist recognised as someone trying to set up their friend. Well who was he to get in the way of a woman's plans, right?

"Sure, I can see the perfect pose I would like you both to take." Dean replied with smile looking at Charlie to say he knew exactly what she was up to.

"It would not involve taking off my clothes would it?" Castiel asked cautiously he did not want to be nude in front of these two people while being painted. It would be most uncomfortable in his mind.

"No, not unless you wanted it." Dean replied, his mind automatically jumping to the image of the man in front of him naked. Damn that would make a good picture, but it was one he would definitely keep to himself.

"I would prefer not." Castiel responded taking Dean's words seriously and completely missing the flirtatious undertone.

"Okay, well I have the studio six booked for this evening, would you guys be able to come then? Say seven?" Dean asked getting things back on track, hell he didn't even knew if Castiel swung his way yet.

"Sure, we'll be there, won't we Castiel?" Charlie replied with an overly bright smile on her face that made Dean believe that in actual fact be there she would not. Hmm, was she definitely trying to set the two of them up. Which led him to the belief that just maybe she knew something he didn't. Namely that Castiel was definitely playing from his team. And that he might well be interested. Hell yeah.

"Of course." Castiel responded with a nod. It seemed he would be posing for a painting with Charlie this evening, and he had so hoped to go over his lecture notes.

"Awesome. See you then." Dean replied with a charming smile before turning back to his painting.

With that Charlie pulled Castiel away from the painter with the green eyes with a smirk on her face. It seemed that she had found not just a new friend, but him a love interest as well. Definitely a good first day backs at college in her mind.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank linusfan13, Tie-Dyed Broadway and thefriendlyguy63 for the lovely reviews. I would also like ot thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel arrived at the building that housed the studios at dead on seven o'clock that evening, and upon finding the door unlocked, walked right inside. He had never been into this building before, he had no need too after all, but as soon as he entered he could hear rock music pouring out of one of the rooms. Making his way to the door he found it ajar, and looking through it he saw Dean sitting there in front of an easel mouthing along to the song playing and moving his head to the beat while adding colour to a canvas at the same time. It was an achievement. Castiel knew he should make some noise, let the artist know he was there, but instead he found himself leaning against the door frame and just watching Dean's smooth movements as he painted and sang. He seemed so... at peace? Relaxed? Castiel wasn't sure what the right words was, but he knew he liked it. He felt like he could stand here, watching this artist work for eternity, and never find himself getting bored with the view.

"You gonna come in or carrying on staring? Cos looking at me like that might just give me ideas." came Dean's voice startling Castiel with the quiet that accompanied it. He had not realised that the song had finished. Then the words Dean had spoken registered and Castiel felt a blush spread across his cheeks. All he could say was he was glad that Dean had not turned from his painting to see him there.

"I am sorry Dean. But I did not want to disturb you." Castiel replied shuffling his feet as a feeling of embarrassment washed over him at being caught doing something so discourteous.

"You can disturb me any time Castiel. Come in, I'm almost done with this canvas." Dean responded turning to see the colour on the blue eyed man's cheeks and watching the way he was looking at the floor with such intensity.

"May I see it?" Castiel asked turning his head up so he eyes met the gorgeous green sparkling ones he remembered from earlier that day. It seemed being inside did nothing to dim them.

"Sure, though I should warn you, its nothing awesome. Just a fluffy landscape for some lawyer guy, Crowley, to hang on his office wall." Dean replied grabbing a rag he had beside him to try to remove the worst of the wet paint from his fingers.

"It's amazing Dean. Is it of a specific place, or from your imagination?" Castiel asked after staring at the painting for a full minute. It truly was beautiful, with the hills and mountains surrounding a body of water, all looking rugged and windswept. Castiel could not imagine a place this perfect being real.

"I ain't that creative Cas. It's somewhere in Scotland, the dude wanted a painting of his ancestral home or some shit like that. He seemed like a pompous ass to me, but hey, moneys money right?" Dean replied with a smile as he studied Castiel's face as he studied the painting. He was amazed by the look of concentration that the other man gave to his work, I mean, this really was nothing special. No, painting the expressions on Castiel's face, now that would be a work of art, hell Cas was already a work of art in his mind.

"Cas?" Castiel asked finally registering Dean's words and turning to find the other man watching him with a soft dreamy look in his eyes. As if he was seeing something else, or maybe something more. what did the artist see when he looked at Castiel? Did he see someone who attracted him? He hoped so, for the more he looked at Dean, the more he was finding himself drawn to him. And the closer he was, the closer still he wanted to be.

"Short for Castiel. you ready to sit for me?" Dean asked in a low tone after he and Cas just stared at each other for at least a minute. He couldn't get enough of that face, and he wanted to map every line, every tone of skin colour, every emotion reflected out of those deep blue eyes.

"Shouldn't we wait for Charlie?" Castiel asked feeling himself go breathless at the look in Dean's eyes. But it was a good breathless, the kind he had always associated with mutual sexual attraction.

"We might as well start, when she comes I can add her in." Dean replied though he didn't move from his stool as he silently corrected his when for an if. He had a feeling that Charlie was gonna be a no show that evening, and for that he was glad. He could have Cas all to himself.

"Very well, but I should warn you, I have never done anything like this before." Castiel responded shifting from foot to foot, wondering what it was Dean wanted him to do, but he didn't move away from the artist. He did not think it would be possible for him to do that right then.

"Its easy, trust me." Dean replied smiling his charming smile as he stood, bringing him and Castiel's faces within an inch of each others. It would take nothing for either of them to close that gap and press there lips together, but neither did it. They both knew that once that first kiss was shared there would be no going back. Castiel was not sure he was completely ready for that, whereas Dean rather liked the feel of anticipation, wanting to stretch it out for as long as possible. With that thought he moved round Castiel and grabbed on of the chairs scattered around the studio before placing it just in front of his easel. As close as he could get it without the person sitting in it being able to see his work.

"All you have to do is sit in this chair." He said once he had positioned it, his hands still resting on the back. And when Castiel sat down the edge of his curly black hair brushed the backs of his fingers making him have to clench them tight to stop himself from turning them round and running them through the other man's hair, before bending down and kissing the guy with a searing passion he could see lurking beneath Cas' eyes.

"This seems rather strange." Castiel replied when Dean finally moved from behind him to sit on his stool once more. He had felt the heat from his fingers as if they were searing themselves into his head. He could have easily rested his head back on them, but he hadn't. After all he had never felt these things so strongly for someone he barely knew before. And it was terrifying, and yet, exciting.

"Well how about we get to know each other while I sketch an outline?" Dean asked in his usual tone, smiling his easy smile once more, feeling more at balance now he was not so close to his model. Damn that man was potent.

"Very well, what would you like to know?" Castiel asked relaxing back into the chair, more at ease now Dean's attention was split between him and his work.

"How long you been at Stanford? And what's your major?" Dean asked as his pencil flew across the page, drawing Cas' face over and over again as he tried to capture his expressions as he talked.

"I have only just started, and I'm attending the law school. What about you?" Castiel asked, he wanted to know all he could about this remarkable man, who was so talented and so desirable.

"Dude, I don't go here. But my little bro has just started as an undergrad, wants to go to the law school later too." Dean replied with a small chuckle at the idea of him attending Stanford. He had never heard of anything so crazy in his mind. He wasn't one for the academic path and all that. I mean the only subject he had ever been any good at at school was art, and shop, but that really didn't count.

"It is a very good school, but if you do not go to college here, then...?" castling asked but stopped before he could finish the question as he tried to think of a way to put it that would not offend Dean in any way.

"Why am I hanging round the campus like some crazy ass weirdo?" Dean finished for him. He knew what Cas was getting at, and he couldn't fault him for wondering. It was a bit weird he guessed.

"Not quite how I would have put it, but yes." Castiel replied drily at Dean's colourful description.

"Well with Sammy moving here I decided to come with him. I can paint anywhere, and I want to be close to him. He's kinda all the family I have left now, plus I can make sure he doesn't do without things just cos money is tight. I can make sure he has everything he needs." Dean responded with a loving smile that Castiel could not miss as he spoke of Sammy.

"You love your brother greatly don't you?" He said into the room as if this was a thing of great achievement.

"Sure, why don't you?" Dean asked puzzled by the way Cas had said it. The ideas' of not getting on with your family, or not spending all your time with them, were foreign to him. He and Sam had always been there for each other, all there lives.

"I do not see a great deal of him." Castiel replied think about Gabriel. The last time he had seen him was at Christmas when he had told him he was coming here. But even though he hadn't seen in him in nine months, he was always the same old Gabriel.

"That don't stop you loving someone Cas, no matter when the last time was you saw them." Dean responded quietly. No longer thinking about his brother, but instead of the parents whom he would never see again.

"I agree." Castiel nodded to Dean's words, he could read the banked pain in the artists eyes and he wished he knew him well enough to ask about it. But he didn't. He could not ask such personal questions yet. Later maybe, but not yet.

"So what you planning on doing when you become a big shot lawyer then?" Dean asked turning the conversation back to where it started. He did not want to be thinking about his mom and dad right then. No he wanted to know about Cas. Who he is, what his dreams are, his ambitions.

"I wish to help people. Work for a firm which has integrity." Castiel replied with a smile for Dean, following his lead in changing the conversation.

"Sure you're going into the right career?" Dean asked looking up with the raise of his eyebrows at the sentence, though there was a cheeky grin on his lips making Castiel realise he was just kidding him.

"I like the idea of environmental law. Helping save the planet." Castiel replied with a chuckle and a shake of his head at the artists sense humour.

"Yeah I can see you doing that. Helping to save the world." Dean responded sincerely after a beat where he just stared at Castiel, studying him once more.

"Thank you." Castiel replied. There was nothing more he could say to such a declaration, such a belief in him.

With that they both lapsed into silence, the sound of the radio gently murmuring in the background. Or at least it was until...

"Oh dude, I love this song." with that Dean turned up the radio so he could sing along, completely off key, to the music pounding out of it.

And Castiel settled back in the chair with a smile on his face as he watched Dean slip back into his own world which consisted of singing along to his music, and putting the images he saw in his mind down onto the paper in front of him. It was a skill that Castiel knew he did not posses, and never would. he was in awe of Dean's talents. And what he had discovered about the man from there brief conversation had convinced him of one thing, that Dean truly was beautiful, both inside and out.

Sitting there, all thoughts of how Castiel should be working, and that spending time with Dean was not productive flew from his mind. And in the days, weeks, months that followed they never returned. Castiel never once thought of getting to know Dean as anything other than the best thing that had ever happened to him... until that was, he was foolish enough to fall for the lies dripped from another's lips, destroying all he held close to his heart, but we're not there yet.


	4. Chapter 3

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank** **Tie-Dyed Broadway, linusfan13 and . for the lovely reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

A week after their first sitting and Dean had to give up the studio on campus. He had finished the commissions that had paid for the space, as such he would have to work out of the small apartment he shared with his brother. Which meant working out of his bedroom. In Dean's mind this was the best news he had ever heard. Cos since that time with Cas he had wanted nothing more than to take the next step with him. Feel his lips on his own, run his hands across his sculpted body, but there hadn't been the chance when they had been meeting in that big, work oriented room. But if he was gonna have Cas sitting for him in the more cosy surroundings of his bedroom, well then. He could so put the moves on the guy there, and if he didn't score, then he didn't deserve the guy in the first place. Of course he also needed to start painting saleable pictures. His sittings with Cas so far had ended up with him drawing so many different expressions on his face, in his eyes. But that wasn't something he would be willing to put down on a canvas he intended to sell. No he needed an idea which he would be willing to be commercial. It was then that he realised he could combine his two wishes in one. Seduce Castiel, and paint an awesome picture or two. With a smirk on his face he set about arranging his room to how he would need it.

* * *

Castiel was sitting in the coffee shop with Charlie at his side. Since there first lecture together they had become fast friends, she was so bubbly all the time, and she did not mind that he didn't understand half of what she was saying, though she had insisted he read the harry potter books, he was so far on the third, and finding them surprisingly good.

Charlie for her part loved having him for a friend for many reasons. He was a great guy, and had a naïve innocence that she loved. He didn't judge her for her outspoken ways or for anything she said and did. And she really liked that he helped her with her coursework without thought. It had taken all of two days for everyone to realise that Castiel would be top of their class, with ease. And yet he had such a wish to help the world. Yeah he was definitely going to be her friend for life.

Since that first sitting for Dean where she accidently lost track of time and as such missed it, she had joined Castiel in Dean's studio once. And she had seen how they would sit there staring at each other, and picked up on the 'new' nick name for Castiel, she liked it. As such she congratulated herself on achieving such a relationship within the first week of the semester.

But Castiel was not sure he had her confidence in him and his artist.

"Dean has asked me to go to his apartment to sit for him from now on. Apparently he couldn't afford the studio, but surely he would have finished all he wanted from me by now?" He said playing with the wooden stirrer he had gotten for his coffee, not that he needed it, but it gave his hands something to do. Spending all his time with Dean and yet getting no further than talking was starting to irk him.

"Oh Castiel, I'm pretty sure that Dean is never gonna finish all he wants from you." Charlie replied with a chuckle at the idea of the artist not wanting to see Castiel. It was so obvious that he just wanted him there, the modelling idea was just an excuse, and if he had asked Castiel back to his place? Well then, things were definitely looking up in Charlie's mind.

"It's not like that Charlie." Castiel scowled at her, though he wanted more than anything for her to contradict him, tell him it was, tell him that he wasn't imagining what he had thought was there between them.

"We'll see. Go to his place, I bet you he makes his move soon. And hey, if he doesn't you could always make yours." Charlie suggested with a shrug. From what she had seen Dean wasn't the type for being backwards in being forwards if you know what she meant. He was bound to jump Castiel's bones soon enough.

"I'm no good at that sort of thing. I always mess up, talk too much or say something stupid. I'm not very good at reading signals." Castiel replied despondently, the only time he had tried to instigate a romantic liaison it had been with a man who it turned out was straight. He really was no good at this. Once the first move was done he was fine, but making that first move? Not his forte.

"Really? I'm shocked." Charlie responded making her eyes go wide as her lips dipped with a sarcastic tone which made Castiel raise one eyebrow at her as he responded in his dry tone.

"And yet, sarcasm I can identify a mile off."

"Me too. See perfect friends. You'll be find Cas, trust me." Charlie replied without a shade of embarrassment or uncomfortableness at the look which later would become notorious throughout the juniors in all law firms in the city. It was a look none ever wished to see on Mr Novak's face.

"Very well. I'll go this time. But I need to do some studying, I haven't done as much as I would like." Castiel gave in with a sigh. He had known he would go, he needed to see Dean if only it was once more, and he had just wanted Charlie to make him believe that he wasn't seeing something where there was nothing.

"Cas, you study more than anyone I know. Give yourself time to enjoy life. That's what it's for after all." Charlie replied with a sigh and a shake of her head. She couldn't believe him sometimes. He needed to have some fun.

* * *

So later that evening Castiel approached the apartment building Dean had given him the address to with some trepidation, as well as need to make sure something happened this evening. It was now or never, life was for the living. With that thought in his head he set his shoulders back and pressed the buzzer which had the name Winchester hand written next to it.

* * *

Dean buzzed Cas up and then wiped his hands on his jeans. He hadn't been this nervous with a guy since, well he wasn't sure he ever had. I mean he had always maintained a love'm 'n' leave'm attitude, but Cas was different. He was more, plus he really hoped he agreed to the pose he wanted to paint.

Opening the door at the sound of Castiel knock a smile appeared on his face of its own volition. Damn this guy was sexy as hell.

"Hello Dean." Castiel said in his usual deep voice and a smile in his eyes as he took in the man in front of him. Dean was wearing a plaid shirt that looked newer than the others Castiel had seen him it, or at least, it was less faded, as were the jeans encasing his muscular legs. Eyes back to the face Castiel.

"Hey Cas, come in. We're in my room. Only place I can set up and not have Sam knock the easel over." Dean replied smiling his charming smile, hoping that his nervousness was not evident to the man who was now following him down the hallway.

"Very well." Castiel replied, though his mind had drifted slightly. After all, being behind Dean gave him a perfect view of his ass, something Castiel had not had that much time to enjoy before. After all Dean was usually sitting down to draw him.

"Right then. I have an idea, which I hope you're willing to go with. See I have been offered a slot at a gallery in a few weeks, but they want portraits, kind of. So I was thinking I would like to paint you in lots of different poses so I can sell them." Dean rushed to say once he had Cas in his room. This was the crux of his plan and he needed Cas' consent before he would even consider selling images of him.

At that Castiel frowned. It was only now he realised that all the pictures Dean had done of him could at some point be sold to strangers. He did not want that. He doubted being an artist's model would go down to well in his chosen career after all.

"I'm not sure I would feel comfortable having my portrait in a strangers home Dean." He replied cautiously. If he could just get together with Dean, he was sure the other man could find another face to paint.

"Well that's where my master plan comes in. I want to paint pictures of a faceless man, based on you. Your body, but your facial expressions will be muted. So what do you think?" Dean asked, hoping Cas would consent. He hadn't been so inspired for a long time, but looking at Cas, with this idea in his head, and his mind was brimming.

"Will anyone be able to recognise me?" Castiel asked tilting his head to the side as he stared into Dean's eyes to make sure he was not lying to him.

"I'll make sure they don't." Dean replied with complete honesty. I mean he didn't want anyone knowing who his model was, not with the poses he had in mind, he wanted Cas all to himself thank you very much.

"Very well, where do you want me?" Castiel responded after a beat of silence. He trusted Dean to do as he said.

"Really?" Dean asked in surprise, because however much that was what he had wanted, he hadn't really thought Cas would agree to his plan. It was a bit crazy after all.

"Dean." Castiel responded just looking at him as if to say don't be so stupid, of course I trust you. It was that look that made the Dean sure of the rest of plan for that evening. Time to put the next step into motion then.

"I want you to sit on the bed, back against the headboard. Yeah like that. Now-"

With that Dean moved so he was straddling Castiel's leg and there was an unmistakable look of desire in his eyes which made Castiel catch his breath, but he would not come undone by such simple a gesture.

"I thought you wanted to paint me Dean." Castiel said innocently looking up into the eyes of the painter on him. The green had almost disappeared from the enlarged pupils.

"I do, but I want to make you look just right." Dean murmured in reply, a seductive smile on his face.

"And how are you going to do that?" Castiel asked with an equality seductive look in his eyes as Dean.

"Like this." Dean replied with a smile as he lowered his head to Castiel's and kissed him deeply. Fulfilling a passion in both of them that had been simmering under the surface from the moment they met. It was perfection. It was bliss, and neither of them truly wanted it to end, yet they both knew it had to eventually.

When Dean finally pulled back he smirked at seeing Cas swollen lips and his lust filled eyes. And Castiel seeing the smirk raised his eyebrow once more, if Dean thought he could make him mindless that easily he had another thing coming.

"I thought you said that my face would not be shown." Castiel said sweetly a smirk to match the one Dean was wearing appearing on his face.

"It won't, but your chest will."

With that Dean proceeded to unbutton Castiel's shirt, but he didn't pull it out of his trousers, just leaving it so it made a V towards his waist band. And Castiel, well he made no move to stop him. He liked have Dean just where he was thank you very much.

"Now place your hands at your sides as if you're waiting for someone." Dean murmured into his ear once he had positioned the shirt just how he wanted.

"I have feeling that's exactly what I'm doing." Castiel replied dryly, yet he followed Dean's orders without question. This was definitely the best foreplay he had ever had, lying half undressed waiting for Dean to come to him. Oh yes, he could definitely get used to this.

"Oh hell yeah. But first, I need to paint." With that Dean climbed off of bed and left the most gorgeous man he had ever seen sprawled on his bed alone as he moved and picked up pencil. Damn he couldn't believe he was doing this, he wanted more than anything to be on that bed with Cas. But first things first, and looking at his model he saw a challenge in the man's eyes. As if daring him, to see how long he could go without joining him on the bed. Damn he really was freakin' awesome.

* * *

That evening was the start of everything. The start of not just Dean and Castiel as a couple, but the start of Dean's rise to fame and fortune. His faceless paintings were sort after, wanted by all. His skill at showing the mood and emotions of a person, with colours and poses and yet without showing their face, it was enough to stir the most ardent of art critics pulse. And no one ever did work out who his models were, because yes, that is models plural. After all, he couldn't just paint a man could he, had to be equal and all that. Lucky for him, his new beau had the perfect female friend, happy to sit and chat while he painted her in any pose he wished her without any ulterior motive other than to be his friend. And that was motive Dean was all for.


	5. Interlude 1

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank linusfan13 and .** **for the lovely reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, we are back to Cas and Crowley now, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Crowley sat in the bar staring at Castiel with his mouth open. He had never realised, never known. But now he did he leisurely ran his graze up and down Castiel body. Yes he could see it now.

"What are you doing?" Castiel growled at him. There was no way he was going to have sex with Crowley so he could get that out of his mind right now.

"I have one of those paintings, of the faceless man. I was just confirming your words." Crowley replied with a smirk as he read Castiel's thoughts in his eyes with ease. See this was the problem with his young friend, he always betrayed everything with his eyes.

"Which one and why?" Castiel demanded, he did not like the idea of his semi-naked form being on Crowley's walls for him to stare at any time he choose, that idea made his skin crawl.

"The one of you in the throne, don't worry you are fully clothed. And as to why you forget, I saw Dean's talent before he became Dean Winchester, sort after artist, as such when I heard he was previewing at a local gallery I went along to see what he could achieve without specification, and I have to say, I was impressed. That work was so much better than anything else I had ever seen him paint. Of course now I know why. He had you for his muse." Crowley responded without batting an eyelid at Castiel's tone. The boy did not scare him.

"Little good that did him." Castiel mumbled downing his glass and refilling it with the last of the bottle of whiskey. Though who had drank the most of it he wasn't sure. He had talked too much for it to be him, right?

"Come now Castiel, you have made that husband of yours a household name, not to mention a fortune." Crowley replied dismissing Castiel depressive thoughts that he was no good for Dean. He would never get the two of them back together if he thought that after all.

"Neither of those things mean anything compared to love. And I failed at that." Castiel responded with a growl, downing and then slamming his glass down and narrowing his eyes at Crowley. He had no idea why he was telling him this, he wouldn't understand. He wasn't the kind of man to understand the love he and Dean had shared. It transcended everything, how could Crowley, who's only thought was for power, even being to comprehend that which he spoke off. This was a waste of time. He had had his drink, it was time to go.

"Very well, carry on with your tale, but do me a favour, please skip all the explicit details, keep it decent. As much as I want to know the story, I don't want a detailed porno." Crowley replied tipping the untouched whiskey from his own glass into that of Castiel's. He could see he was about to leave and he really didn't want that. He had a job to do here, and for that, he need Castiel to stay and to talk.

"Really? Because I promise you it's very good." Castiel smirked at him with a waggle of his eyebrows before he took a sip of his newly refilled glass.

"I'm sure it is, but no. the idea of picturing you and Dean fornicating is enough to send shivers down my spine. Also could you skip the mush? I don't need a retelling of the horror story of true love." Crowley replied with a shudder as he gestured to the bar man to bring them a new bottle.

"Very well. In that case, I should probably skip ahead, there was a lot of naked mushy times in those early, happy months and years." Castiel replied, leaning his elbow on the bar and resting his chin on it as he remembered all the good times he and Dean had had together back then. The pleasure they experienced that first night once Dean had got the concept onto the canvas. Of all the times they had used Dean painting him as a challenge and foreplay, a test to see who could last the longest before they ended up in each other's arms. The times when they had sat together, first eating takeaway in the apartment and later once Dean gained fame and fortune at restaurants. How Dean always said he was the most important thing to him, him and Sam, in all his interviews, not that he did many. Dean did not like the spot light. All the times Dean had brought him breakfast in bed, or flowers just because he wanted to see if his smile could outshine there beauty. There were so many times, so many instances of love between the two of them. It would be hard to tell the story and not mentioning them. Of course then he had to go and ruin it all. Erase that happiness and replace it with his betrayal.

"Castiel, come back to me, stop with the fantasies that lead to the grumpy cat." Crowley said, he had watched the feelings flitter across Castiel's face, and he was happy to let the mushy love ones stay, but when the frown started to mar his brows he knew it was time to get back to the business they had here.

"Fine. So as I said, Dean became a star, one I always knew he was. And he and I brought ourselves an apartment together, with room for his studio, my office and Sam of course." Castiel said pulling himself out of the memories, which was probably a good thing. He did not want to have to go over that ground more than once and it seemed that Crowley wished to hear all about it.

"Of course." Crowley replied with a roll of his eyes at Castiel's simple acceptance that Dean's brother deserved a place in his home, he had always though the Winchester boys were too close, and Castiel was doing nothing to supress that idea.

"It was strange being with someone who was so famous, but it worked. Dean always made me feel the most special person in his life, always giving me anything I asked for. It was a golden time. I should have realised that it wouldn't last, but what can I say, I was innocent and naïve and thought our life could carry on in sunshine and roses." Castiel continued ignoring Crowley's comment. He had always loved how Dean and Sam were so close, still did in fact, even if it had led to where he was now.

"Ah yes, the unicorns and rainbows of rose tinted glasses. Let's get to the bit where they fell off shall we?" Crowley asked trying to move it forwards. He did not want Castiel getting completely inebriated before he had finished this story, he did not want to have to go through all this again tomorrow night just to learn the bloody truth.

"Fine. But there is bits I need to tell first." Castiel argued. He didn't want to jump into that pain. He needed Crowley to understand his reasoning, even if he knew there was none for what he had done.

"Of course there are, more whiskey?" Crowley asked with a sigh as he held up the newly full bottle. It was never easy was it?

"I won't say no." Castiel replied finishing his glass and holding it out to the man next to him.

"Of course you won't." Crowley muttered as he refilled both their glasses. With that he put the bottle down as Castiel took another sip of his drink before he spoke once more.

"So it was at the end of my time at law school, and I was graduating at the top of my class…"


	6. Chapter 4

**Hello my lovelies. I would like to thank . for the lovely review, and don't worry, happy unicorns and rainbows will come… eventually.** **I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel smiled widely as he walked towards the Dean of Stanford Law and accepted his diploma, he had already passed the bar exam, and now, with this bit of paper in his hand he was a fully qualified lawyer, able to practise in the stare of California. He could not have been happier, but then he smiled out to the audience and saw the four people whom he held closest to his heart clapping and cheering just for him and he realised that actually he could. In fact he was pretty sure Gabriel even wolf whistled. He didn't care. He had done it. He had become what he had always wanted to be. Now his career could start.

Later, as all the graduates mingled, Castiel made his way to his family's side, to the side of Dean, Gabriel, Sam and Charlie. They had all insisted on coming there today just for him, and that meant more than he ever thought it would.

"Well look at that. I now have a hot shot lawyer for a partner, and a brother determined to in his follow his footsteps." Dean murmured into his ear as he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Showing his pride at what he had achieved in the smile across his face.

"I am not a hot shot yet Dean." Castiel reminded him, though he had got himself a job at a prestigious environmental law firm. It seemed his life was falling perfectly in place. Until that was another man approached them. A man with a sincere looking smile, whom, at the time, Castiel had no reason to distrust.

"Congratulations Castiel. I must say, I have been watching you for a while. You have a great affinity with the law, an affinity my company could do with having in its ranks." The man said with a Charming smile as he looked into Castiel's eyes and held out his hand in congratulations, effectively freezing all the others from their conversation.

"I already have a job thank you." Castiel replied amiably as he shook his hand. It would be best to not make enemies just because someone wanted him to work for him after all.

"Well, you can't blame a man for trying to poach the best student Stanford has had in years. If you change your mind, here's my card." The man replied smiling still as if there were no hard feelings, but he did extend his card to Castiel who knew he couldn't refuse to take it.

"There will be others that surpass me." Castiel responded putting the card into his pocket without even looking at the name or company displayed upon it. He had no need for another job, he already had his ideal one after all, but he didn't want to throw the card away in front of this man. It would be discourteous.

"No doubt you are right. And if I hear correctly Sam Winchester, you could well be one of them." The man said, moving his charming smile onto the tallest and youngest of the group making him go pink at such a compliment.

"Oh, umm, I don't think so. Cas is great." Sam mumbled, not used to such attention, he had only just been accepted into the law school after all. Who knew how good he would be once he got there?

"As will you be, I'm sure. Good luck." the man replied with a sincerity that made Sam smile. This man was a practised lawyer, and yet he said he thought he would be great. That idea was too much for him.

"Thank you –umm…." He responded holding out his hand before he realised that he didn't actually know the man's name, he had never introduced himself after all.

"The names Lucifer. I think I'll be keeping my eye on you." the man replied shaking Sam's hand with a twinkle in his eyes before he nodded to Castiel and left the group to themselves once more.

And with that the man blended once more into the crowd and Castiel turned to Dean to carry on celebrating his success only to find him looking after the man, Lucifer, with a calculated stare.

"Dean what is it?" Castiel asked with a frown. He could see the disturbance of his happiness in the man he loved's eyes.

"I don't trust him." Dean replied pulling his eyes from Lucifer's back and turning to Cas. His Cas. The one who had made him the man he was today, and so much more. God he loved him. Cas was the most important person to him, well him and Sam of course. His lover was remarkable.

"Why? He seemed perfectly amiable to me." Castiel asked with a frown. Not that he didn't trust Dean's judgement. But it was possible that maybe Dean was a little jealous of him and Sam getting all the attention from someone. After all it was a novelty for this family that Dean was not the centre of attention when they went out. In hindsight he knew, he should not have dismissed Dean's concerned so lightly.

"I don't know, it's just something seems… off, somehow. But that don't matter. It's your day. I'm so proud of you Cas." Dean replied dismissing his fears. I means seriously, what could that guy do to ruin their happiness?

"Thank you Dean. I couldn't have done it without you." Castiel responded wrapping his arms once more round Dean and pulling him close for a kiss. After all everyone knew of their relationship, in fact his new employers had been so adamant to assure Castiel that they were fine with his personal choices they had commissioned Dean to paint pictures for their whole building. It seemed they really wanted him working for them.

"Liar, but I like the sentiment." Dean responded rubbing their noses together. He knew full well that Cas would be where he was without his help, though Dean also knew that the reverse could not be said to be true. He owed everything he had to Cas. And hell if he wasn't gonna spend the rest of his life repaying him. Starting with tonight, he had a special surprise for Cas tonight, he just hoped he liked it.

"Hey he's not the only one who supported you." Interrupted a female voice having decided that the boys had had enough time together. Charlie wanted her own chance to congratulate her best friend and all he had achieved.

"Of course not Charlie. Thank you for your friendship." Castiel replied separating himself from Dean and wrappings his arms around her instead. He loved his friend. He owed her so much, she had done so much, not in the least got him and Dean together. She was always there for him, and for that he would be eternally grateful.

"No need to thank me, you got me through the class I had to take and now I have my dream job, hacking people for money." Charlie replied with a smile as she gave him a kiss on his cheek and released him. Damn life had gone so well for the both of them, there had been so many changes since that first meeting in that lecture hall, and yet they had stayed friends through it all.

"I will never understand your world." Castiel responded with a shake of his head at the idea of hacking someone for fun. He didn't truly get computers after all, luckily he didn't have tie in his future job.

"Then its good thing you don't have to." Charlie replied reiterating his own thoughts with a chuckle at how clueless Castiel could be sometimes. With that Charlie found herself pushed aside, but considering who was doing it she held no grudge.

"Hey bro. I'm proud of you. Not only have you shown once again what a smartass you are, but you got yourself a decent guy, who for some reason seems devoted with you. I'm glad you have your life sorted." Gabriel said pulling Castiel into his arms. He had never been prouder of what his little brother had achieved. He had surpassed his every expectation and he was happy. And in all honesty that was all Gabriel have ever wanted for him. A happy ending of his own.

"It's all thanks to you Gabriel, your words made me agree to sit for Dean that first time." Castiel whispered into his brother's ear. He had never said it before, but right then he felt he need to thank Gabriel for all he had done for him in life, the whole of it. Thank him for being his brother.

"Well what can I say? I'm always right." Gabriel responded with a waggle of his eyebrows breaking the emotion filled moment, he didn't do that crap. But he was glad that Cassie did.

With that the four of them moved on to a bar to carry on the celebrations, which Castiel insisted wasn't just for him, but for Sam and Charlie as well, even if they had both had their own. That insistence made Dean love him even more, if that was even possible.

* * *

As the evening came to its natural end everyone went their separate ways, Dean making sure he and Cas were together alone in the taxi, which confused the other man as there were others going the same way, but the rest of the family there knew the reasoning and wholeheartedly agreed they should go alone.

Once in the taxi Dean distracted Castiel by kissing him deeply, hoping to make him not realise where they were going, but when the taxi slowed he knew it was time. Putting a hand over Cas' eyes as he pulled away from him he spoke.

"I have something else I want to show you. But I need you to wear a blindfold, you good with that?" he asked in a slightly nervous voice which made Castiel smile, even if he couldn't see.

"Of course Dean. Though I would suggest we do this in a more private location than the back of a taxi." He murmured to his lover. The idea of one of them wearing blindfold while they were together had sent his pulse racing.

"No not that, though I wouldn't so no to that idea. You can tie me up anytime you wish-" Dean replied with a murmur of his own as Cas' words sent images and ideas through his mind. Images he really would love to see fulfilled, but not now.

"Really? Hmm, I am getting all sorts of ideas." Castiel replied in his deep timber, lowed even more by the suggestive tone of their conversation making Dean wish briefly he could just ask the driver to take them home and then they could make some of those ideas a reality. But no, they were here for a reason.

"Sure you are. But this ain't that. So please. Don't look alright?" Dean said pulling himself out of his decant thoughts and back to what he had planned.

"I trust you Dean I promise not to look." Castiel replied with complete sincerity. He knew Dean had something planned and who was he to refuse him? They could entertain themselves later.

With that Dean tied a piece of smooth material across Castiel's eyes and once the taxi stopped he guided him out of it. He then took both of Cas' hands in his and lead him to the place where he wished them be.

Castiel had no idea where they were, but he had completely faith in Dean. As such he followed him without thought. And when he let go of his hands he didn't automatically go to take off the blindfold, instead he let his hand drop to the side until Dean told him what to do next.

Dean on the other hand was making sure everything was ready. Once it was he spoke once.

"Take the blindfold off Cas."

With that the man in question did so only to find himself standing by the fountain in the centre of campus, the place he had first ever seen Dean. Speaking of the man, he looked down to find Dean on one knee in front of him with a jewellery box in hand.

"Castiel, Cas I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry?" Dean asked in a shaky voice. He wanted this so much, but what if Cas didn't want him that way? What if to him this was just a college thing? Had he made massive mistake?

These thoughts continued and got worse as Castiel just stood there staring at him.

"Gay marriage is not legal." Was all Castiel could think to say. The idea of marrying overwhelmed him. It was not something he had ever thought he would be able to do after all. But he loved Dean, he truly did.

"Semantics Cas. What's your answer in your heart?" Dean asked though he was fighting the need to run. He was gonna say no. this was a stupid idea. What the hell was he thinking? He'd ruined everything.

"My heart says yes Dean, and it always will." Castiel replied looking down at the man in front of him. He could see the worry going through his eyes and he kicked himself for his earlier reply. He just hadn't thought. But the idea of cementing himself to Dean alone, that was a dream come true in his mind.

Dean broke into a glorious smile at Cas' words and with slightly shaking hands took the simple band from the box and placed it on Cas' ring finger, he then pulled another, identical box from his pocket as he stood.

"I got one for you to give me too." He murmured as he held it out the unopened box to the man he loved.

"Then Dean, will you me the great pleasure of becoming my husband?" Castiel asked opening the box and taking out the ring.

"Hell yeah." Dean breathed as he held out his hand and watch Cas side the ring onto his finger. That action to Dean felt like he had finally found his home, his happy ending. Sure it wouldn't hold up in a court of law, but he had the man he loved and he was with Cas'. For better or worse, they were together forever. Dean had never been happier.

And as for Castiel he was still reeling from what had happened. He had received the heart of the man he loved and given his in return. Nothing could put them asunder, right?


	7. Chapter 5

**Hello my dears. I would to thank . and linusfan13** **for the lovely reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I know it's rather short, but I hope you like it all the same.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel came out of the shower on the morning of his first day at work to smell pancakes cooking. With a smile he dressed in his best suit and made his way into the kitchen where he was greeted by the sight of Dean, in his paint covered clothes and with a tea towel over his shoulder humming away as he slid a pile of pancakes onto a plate. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Sam was already at the table digging into his own stack, also dressed in a suit for the first day of his internship, but his eyes really were only for his fiancé. Fiancé, how he loved that word, though husband would be better, but hopefully one day he could use that one in connection to Dean as well.

Without a sound he moved slowly across the kitchen floor until he was behind Dean and could wrap his arms around the man and place a gently kiss onto his cheek, making sure to miss the smudge of flour which was there. He didn't want to disturb that bit of flour, it made Dean look even sexier that he already did. It reminded Cas of when he was so busy painting he didn't notice he was covering himself in it. And it reminded Cas of all the fun showers they had had after such painting sessions to remove it.

"Good morning Dean." He murmured deeply resting his head briefly in the space between Dean's shoulder blades.

"Morning angel. Food time." Dean replied holding up the plate for the man behind him to take, which Castiel did after one more quick squeeze of the man he loved.

"Thank you Dean." He said with a smile as he sat next to Sam and proceeded to pour syrup over the freshly cooked goodies.

"Gotta make sure you don't get hungry on your first day now don't I?" Dean responded placing coffee down for all three of them as well, before joining his brother and lover and the table and attacking his own food with gusto and very little table manners which Castiel found strangely attractive and Sam had long learnt to ignore.

Once done Castiel insisted on stacking the dishwasher, Dean had cooked after all. When he was finished he checked the time and realised that he and Sam should be heading out soon. For while Sam's internship wasn't at the same firm as Castiel's new job, it was within an easy walking distance and as such he was giving the younger Winchester a lift in.

Sam had gone to collect his stuff, and as such it was just Castiel and Dean in the kitchen now, staring at each other with love in their eyes.

"So how do I look?" Castiel asked into the silence and holding his hands out at the side and giving Dean a lopsided grin.

With that Dean ran his eyes slowly up and down Cas' body before he stepped forwards, his hands going to Cas' collar as he straightened his tie and settled his jacket just so on his shoulders.

"Like the hottest damn lawyer ever." Dean replied stepping back with a smirk of desire.

"Is that so?" Castiel asked raising his eyebrows, playing with Dean's words in a way that, before they had met, he would never have thought of.

"Yep. In fact if you're not careful I might just have to drag you back to bed and remove that very well-tailored suit." Dean murmured stepping forwards once more and wrapping Cas in his arms before pulling him into a passionate, yet loving kiss.

"Hmm, I think you'll have to wait until I come home for that one." Castiel responded slightly breathless once they parted.

"I can if you can." Dean responded with a chuckle before forcing himself to let go of his man.

Before Castiel could reply the two of them were interrupted by a loud cough, and turning they found Sam standing by the door his coat and bag already in hand and a bitchface look. He had heard more than he had wanted to of that exchange.

"Time to go." He said in a determined voice making Dean smirk at him before diving towards Cas for one last kiss.

"See you later angel. I know you're gonna be great." He whispered to him as he brushed off the flour which seemed to have transferred onto Cas' face from his own.

"Thank you Dean." Castiel responded with complete sincerity. He loved the confidence Dean had in him, even if he didn't share it.

"And good luck, bitch." Dean called out to Sam as the other two men made their way towards the door, leaving Dean to grab his coffee and go into his studio to start his working day, ideas of painting Cas in his suit, looking rather rumbled going through his mind.

And that evening when Castiel returned home Dean did indeed enjoy taking off his suit, as well as other things, things that Sam decided he really didn't want to hear. Which explained why come the start of his new term at law school he moved out of his brothers apartment and into one of his own. Not that Dean and Castiel noticed the difference that much. They had each other and that was all they truly needed in that gorgeous sun filled time, where they balanced their work and their time together with such perfect harmony.


	8. Interlude 2

**Hello again, another short chapter I'm afraid. I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

"Stop! You are straying into the decidedly mushy, and you almost went explicit there." Crowley growled putting down his glass with a frown for the younger man. There really were things he did not want to think about, and Dean and Castiel being intimate, in anyway, was definitely top of that list, or well, at least definitely in the top three, along with his evil mother and fluffy cute baby animals. It was enough to make a grown man shiver.

"What? Don't you want to hear about Dean taking off my suit, piece by sensual piece?" Castiel asked with innocently wide eyes, though there was a distinctive smirk on his face that to Crowley was far too reminiscent of Dean's when he knew he could get under your skin. Bloody hell, those two really were like two peas in a pod it seems.

"No, not really. Can we please skip ahead to some less fluffy and rom-com like?" Crowley asked keeping his voice neutral and calm, refusing to let on how he hated saying those words. I mean, rom-com, really? What idiot came up with such terminology?

"No." Castiel stated belligerently. He had drunk enough that he no longer cared if Crowley left him to wallow on his own. He did not want to skip ahead. He liked thinking about those times, remembers those oh so happy times. And he would really rather not remember what he had done to destroy it all thank you very much.

"I only want to know what happened to make you end up in here drinking." Crowley replied with a sigh, though he knew from Castiel's tone he had no hope of getting him to do as he wished. Damn the man. He was never any good at following orders, or doing what Crowley wanted him to, like take a job at his firm for instance. No, Castiel had to go and work for his rivals instead.

"To do that you need to understand what I lost, so shut up and enjoy the story." Castiel growled at him waving his finger to accentuate his point, though the effect was slightly ruined by the way he swayed on his stool from all the alcohol he had consumed so far that evening.

"Oh god help me, what did I do to deserve this? Because I'm pretty sure this is hell." Crowley muttered rolling his eyes at his drunken companion.

"Oh no Crowley, I could make this soooo much worse, that would be hell. But if you don't want to listen, feel free to walk away and leave me with the whiskey." Castiel responded with a wide smile as he reached for the bottle and pulled it close to him. Yes that would be an agreement he would be very happy with. To be left to his happy memories and the fun of inebriation and alcohol consumption which, he could only hope, would lead to oblivion.

"Nice try kitten, but that isn't bloody happening. Now talk, I can take it." Crowley replied exacting the whiskey from Castiel's weak-ass grasp and pouring himself another glass. He might just need it if it was going to get any more lovey bloody dovey.

"We'll see. Hmm, now where shall I start this time? Yes I know, Dean and I's wedding day. It was a perfect September day, the leaves starting to turn and a light breeze in the air…"


	9. Chapter 6

**Hello my dears. I would like to thank tardis impala 221b merlin and linusfan13 for the lovely reviews.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel stood at his mirror with a frown on his face as he tried to get his tie to sit just right. He had never been any good at this. Dean had always corrected it for him. But it was their wedding day and as such they weren't allowed to see one another before the ceremony. He tried once more and then glared at his reflection as if it was the mirror's fault.

"You know, that isn't gonna help right?" Came a voice from the doorway. Turning Castiel saw Gabriel lounging against the frame and he wondered how long he had been standing there, enjoying the sight of his pain.

"Well then, maybe you could fix it for me?" He asked sweetly though there was an under tone that if he didn't then Castiel was more than likely going to try and kill him for ruining his perfect day.

"Sure thing." Gabriel replied simply making his way into the room and standing in front of Castiel so he could tie his tie properly.

It had taken three years, but finally gay marriage was legal, and Dean and Castiel had been the first to put their names forwards when the legislation was passed. But Because Dean was now such a famous name, and Castiel had been making a name for himself in the legal world, they both knew that as much as they would like to try and keep their marriage a family affair, the world's media would be focused on them that day. As such Castiel wanted to make sure everything went perfectly. Including his damn tie.

Finally Gabriel stepped away with a smile and stood behind Castiel so he could see himself in the mirror. Looking at his reflection he saw that Gabriel had indeed done a fine job and he now looked like the prospective groom he was.

"Thank you." He said smiling at his brother whom he had asked to be his best man. After all he was marrying his best friend, and Dean had his brother for best man, he had decided to do so as well. He just hoped that when it came to the speeches that he hadn't made a terrible decision.

"Hey it's your day. It's gonna be a good one." Gabriel replied reaching forwards to squeeze Castiel's shoulders in a sign of brotherly love. They didn't really do hugging.

"So you ready to make an honest man out of Dean?" Gabriel asked stepping away and ending the endearing brotherly moment, he could only do so much touchy feely crap after all. He had only one issue with this marriage, and that was that there wouldn't be any bridesmaids for him to get friendly with. Something he really thought his brother should have recertified.

"More than ready. This is just a formality." Castiel replied smiling into the mirror as he thought of Dean. In his mind they were already married, and had been for a long time. They had a perfect life, they had breakfast together in the mornings and then when he returned from work Dean had usually cooked dinner for the both of them, and they settled in for the night. It really was domestic loving bliss in his mind, and he knew Dean felt the same.

"Good." Gabriel nodded seeing the smile on his brother's face. He was glad that he and Dean would finally be able to show the world their love through marriage. He couldn't be happier for the pair.

* * *

Dean was standing by his mirror making sure he looked good enough to become Cas' husband when Sam came to join him.

"Looking good." Sam said with a chuckle when he saw his brother checking himself out.

"Damn straight. Only the best for my soon to be husband." Dean replied with a smirk, though it soon turned into a proud smile at the realisation he was finally getting what he had always wanted. Cas at his side for life, and for all to know it. Damn it couldn't get better than this, they were perfect together, and he loved Cas more than he could ever try to put into words. He was everything to him.

* * *

They got married in a simple ceremony in a hotel which had very good security, because while they and their guest were fine (and some more than fine) being photographed arriving at such an event, what happened inside was purely for them. The guest list was a strange mix of family, Cas' work colleagues and his bosses who wanted to show their support for their rising star, and of Dean's loyal clients, including one Fergus Crowley. It was a perfect day in everyone's minds. It was a day to celebrate the true love between Castiel and Dean. A day where all in attendance felt the love of the couple touch them in some small way. Just as a wedding should be.

The best man speeches were surprisingly not as disastrous as Castiel had thought they might be, or at least he thought Gabriel's might be. In fact both the brothers had raved about how happy they were to see their respective sibling finding such happiness and love with the other man. And as the day turned into evening with a happy glowing flow. They had their first dance as a married couple and smiled with a love with was infectious to all who could see. And when it came time for them to leave for their honeymoon they found that there were still reporters camped outside to take snaps of the happy couple and asking them questions of how they felt. They were so happy they were more than pleased to share such happiness with them before they moved off to take their well-earned break in each other's arms. They had no thoughts of what the consequences would be of such an action.

* * *

Upon their return form their dream holiday in Hawaii they returned to the usual grind of their life together. Though due to the publicity that their marriage had gathered Dean had more commissions than he was used to. As such he did not always have time to make dinner for himself and Castiel at the end of his working day, and sometimes Dean would spend the whole evening in his studio painting for strangers. But Castiel did not notice too much. He also had had a chance in circumstance as he had been given a promotion and was now in charge of all the junior lawyers in his firm. And while yes, they were both busy with their new work load they did all they could to make sure they still had time for each other, still had time together, where they could remember their love for one another. Remember who they were and why they had married. They were both convinced that once the fever of their public marriage died down they could go back to what they had before. Convinced this was just a flash in the pan situation. They both felt that Dean's work load would return to what it had been soon enough and as such neither held a grudge against it.

But oh dear, how wrong could they be?


	10. Chapter 7

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank fortardis-impala-221b thefreak the lovely review.**

 **So here we are, coming to the end of the reminiscing, nearly time to find out what happened. I hope you like the chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Three years, almost to the exact date, Dean and Castiel found themselves back at the graduation for Stanford Law School. The night they had got engaged. But this time they weren't here for Castiel, but to celebrate Sam's achievements at following his brother-in-law's footsteps and coming top of his class. And they weren't alone. Once again Charlie and Gabriel were at their side, along with Sam's girlfriend Jess. This was their family, and they were all there to support one of their own.

Sam already had a job lined up when he left, though it wasn't at the firm with Castiel, much to the older man's disappointment. He would have liked the idea of working with, and teaching, Sam. But no, his brother-in-law had decided to go the public prosecutor route and join the DA's office. And while the pay was nothing compared to what he could ask for, Sam decided the idea of helping people, prosecuting the guilty and supporting the innocent, was far more important that finical gain.

This was a decision that Dean was 100% behind, which didn't help towards the slight friction that seemed to have developed between him and his husband. He didn't understand what it was, I mean they weren't fighting or anything like that, it was more… they just didn't really see much of each other anymore. There schedules seemed to clash. And not spending that time together seemed to have made a distance between them. One he really hoped they could close ASAP. He didn't like not knowing exactly what Cas was thinking at all times. It made him feel uncomfortable. Cas could have so many other, better, guys. Dean didn't want to give him any excuse to leave him.

Castiel on the other hand while supporting Sam's ideas for the good intentions that they were, did feel that the way Dean had supported his brother wasn't quite as he wished. He was so positive it made him think that maybe Dean didn't agree with his chosen career path. Maybe Dean thought he could be doing more for people rather than trying to save the planet. But no, of course he didn't. It was just that they hadn't seen much of each other of late, that was all. What they needed was a holiday, time away from constant pressure of their lives, the only problem was, trying to find the time.

But this day wasn't about them, this was about Sam. As such they put on the united front that they always had, it was just that before, it wasn't a front. It was how they really were. And yet still, when they turned and smiled at each other they both could see the love in the other's eyes. Their feelings had not changed. It was just… the damn time. There never seemed to be enough of it.

And so they put all of their insecurities to the backs of their minds, as they had a tendency to do every other day of the week, and concentrated on Sam. Concentrated on drinking champagne to congratulate him and enjoying the company of their family.

But once they got home they found they had one of their rare evenings when it was just the two of them. An evening that they could spend together. And one look at each other's eyes and they both knew they couldn't bring up the subject that was on their minds. The idea that they had drifted apart slightly. So instead they did what they had become experts at. They didn't talk and instead pretended nothing was wrong. Pretended that spending the evening together was still a common occurrence. And when they went to bed and made love, it was as deep and meaningful as it always had been between them. Even if they didn't do it as much as either of them liked anymore.

They were together and they were happy.

It was then that Castiel raised the idea of them going away for a long weekend, an idea Dean jumped on. Maybe that was what they needed, time away from everything.

* * *

As such that weekend they both packed a bag, and by unvoiced agreement Castiel left all his work files at home, and Dean took nothing more than his current sketch pad so he could draw his favourite model. The man he loved.

And it was bliss. They went to the middle of nowhere where no one knew who they were, just accepted them as a couple in love. And for those few days that was what they were. They once again found what they had lost, they found their love for each other, and without saying a word they rediscovered that which they had lost slightly with their marriage. And when they retuned they were renewed. Convinced they had found there path once more and everything would be as it had been in those first few glorious years of their partnership.

But they had forgotten the real world, and how it never had a tendency to do as you wished it to.

As such upon their return Castiel was informed he was going to be lead council on a high profile case, and Dean found that he had been offered the chance to display his work at the most prestigious gallery in New York. And despite both of them wishing it was otherwise they once again found themselves drifting apart. Dean spending his time painting in his studio, and Castiel in his office and working well into the night. In fact it got to the point where they only really saw each other when they fell into bed, usually early in the morning, and when they climbed out of it again to start a new day, one which was just as filled as the previous one.

But still neither of them spoke of how alone they had started to feel, neither of them reproached the other for putting their work before them, instead they both threw themselves even harder into other things in an attempt to fill the hole inside that the distance had created. Not that either of them realised that this was what they were doing. They were both too busy to really think. Though Dean's work did take a darker turn, one noted by the critics, but ignored by those who were too close to it all.

Neither of them realised what was happening, or what openings it would give others to destroy it all. If only they had talked, if only they had seen, but that was life was it not? Everything was easy in retrospect.

Castiel just wished he had paid attention to those who tried to warn him, those who tried to help him. But he was so used to being on top, he was so convinced he knew what was right. How wrong could he be? Apparently, very.


	11. Interlude 3

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So I know this is a short one, but we are almost there. Almost at the point where we find out just what went wrong. I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

"Oh Castiel, how maudlin. Could you please just get to the bit I'm interested it? I find all this insight into your relationship with Dean most disturbing." Crowley said with a sigh at the man next to him. He knew what he was doing, he was trying to put off telling that which he wanted to know. That and no doubt trying to set up his excuses for why he had done what he had. Oh Castiel, when will you ever learn? There is no excuse for betrayal.

"Yeah well, deal with it. You wanted the story, I'm giving it to you." Castiel sneered back at him as he reached once more for his glass, though is hand was unsteady and he was finding it hard to focus enough to pick the damn thing up. That was good. If he was seeing two glasses then that meant he was well on his way to forgetting everything. Yeah that was what he wanted. To forget it all. To pass out and hopefully never wake up to the shit storm he had created out of his perfect life.

"And I'm giving you whiskey. Come on." Crowley replied with a roll of his eyes as he picked up the glass and placed it carefully into Castiel's hand. He knew he shouldn't, the guy had had enough. But he needed him to talk, and it didn't really matter if he passed out once they were done. Hmm, they really needed to move on with this tale though if Castiel was not going to pass out before he had even finished telling it. There was no way Crowley could sit through this situation again another night. Once was more than enough for him.

"You're a… assbutt you know that?" Castiel slurred up at him, though he did bring his glass to his mouth, with great care, trying to make sure he didn't miss and throw the whiskey over his face. That wouldn't be a good look after all.

"That the best you have?" Crowley asked with a chuckle at Castiel's choice of words. Because assbutt? Really? That wasn't even a word for crying out loud.

"Don't test me." Castiel growled and narrowed his eyes at his drinking companion. Though the effect was rather ruined by his elbow slipping off the bar and the only reason he didn't end up face first on the floor was because Crowley caught him and steadied him.

"What can you do to me Castiel? I am here to help you. Don't make me regret that decision." Crowley responded once Castiel was once more stable with the bar under his arms holding him up. Though there was a sense of threat in his tone. A sense Castiel choose to ignore. There was nothing Crowley could do to him now that he hadn't already done. So what the hell, bring it on!

"Yeah well, I never asked for your help." Castiel mumbled belligerently. He really didn't understand what this assbutt was doing with him. It wasn't like he could change what had happened was it? No doubt he was there to take joy in his pain and suffering, yeah that would be just like Crowley.

"No. but I am sure I am the only one in our field who is willing to offer it. So let's drop the attitude shall we?" Crowley replied sternly. He was getting to the end of his tether with all the crap Castiel was throwing at him. He was trying to do something good for once god damn it. Why was the other man making it so bloody hard?

"Fine you want the story? I'll give you the story Crowley. But I doubt you'll like it." Castiel responded with a smirk on his lips as if he knew something that Crowley didn't. Which in actual fact he did, it was why Crowley was there after all. To find out the truth and not just the scandalous stories he had been told.

"I'm sure I won't. If I would have I wouldn't be here trying to correct it. Now talk." Crowley said in a tired voice. He was so done with this, if only he could just walk away. But he couldn't, because this wasn't just about Dean and Castiel, this was also his reputation and that of his company on the line, and that he could not have. That he had to correct and make right. And if that meant he had to sort out the love life of his once enemy in the courtroom, then so be it. Needs must and all that.

"Fine, let's go to three months ago shall we? When the end started…"


	12. Chapter 8

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin and linusfan13** **for the lovely reviews.**

 **So here is the next chapter I hope you like it. I would also like to say all I know about the legal system I have learnt from Law and Order so I apologise for any mistakes.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel was presenting his closing argument to the jury, and he could see in their faces that he had won. He had won his first case as lead council. He was so damn proud. As such as he finished his last sentence and he turned to walk back to his seat he looked over at the those who had come to watch, expecting to see Dean sitting there smiling at him, maybe giving him a thumbs up, he had promised to come after all. But instead what he saw was Sam sitting there, with an empty space beside him. Dean wasn't here. Dean hadn't come to see him win. Dean hadn't made it to here watch him work the court room. That realisation made his victory seem hollow somehow. Dean had always come in the early years. Had always been there supporting him, but now he was nowhere to be seen. As such Castiel took little joy in it taking the jury all of half an hour to come back with a guilty verdict. Dean wasn't there.

Once the court adjourned, sentencing to be carried out at a later date, Castiel and his team made their way to the bar which was renowned for the place lawyers went to celebrate. Once there Castiel found himself being congratulated by many, but not the one he wanted. Finally Sam made it too his side and gave him a sad smile as if he knew exactly what was going through his brother-in-law's mind.

"He got caught up at the gallery who want to display his work." Sam said in way of explanation, though he knew it wouldn't be enough. If only Dean had been here, Sam knew how important this was to Cas, hell this was a major mile stone in his career. But he had seen over the recent months how Dean and Cas seemed to have drifted apart, he just hoped it was a temporary thing. Not something to worry about, and something they would solve soon enough. He couldn't imagine it ever being anything more between the two off them. I mean they loved each other. That was as clear as day.

Sam and Cas were interrupted by Gabriel and Charlie joining them, they had both made it to court and wanted to tell Castiel how well they thought he had done. But all their congratulations did was reaffirm to him who was missing. The one person who meant more to him than any of them wasn't there. He had been too busy. As these thoughts crossed his mind he felt a hand on his shoulder and turning he saw a barrister he recognised, though he couldn't put a name to him.

"Congratulations on your win Castiel. You captivated the jury, not that I would expect anything less from you. Here, it's the finest champagne they severe here, you deserve it."

"Thank you…" Castiel replied, trying desperately to remember the name, thought it seemed the other man understood his problem, even if he didn't seem it appreciate it much. But Castiel could understand that, no one liked to not be recognised in their business.

"Lucifer. I met you at your graduation remember? Tried to poach you for my frim?" Lucifer replied with a smile, trying to cover any awkwardness between them.

"Don't you work for Crowley?" Castiel asked with a frown. After the job offer he had researched Lucifer and found him to be on Crowley's pay-roll. The company his own came up against the most. They defended the worst of the worst in Castiel's mind.

"For now." Lucifer agreed, though he made it sound like he was considering branching out on his own and Castiel could only commend such a feat. Leaving Crowley's firm was definitely a good thing, and then starting your own, well that was every lawyers dream in his mind.

"Well, thank you for the drink." He said with a friendly smile for Lucifer. Maybe when he got his own firm they would be working together, it was always good to collative connections.

"You're welcome, and feel free to join me for a drink any time. I believe I could learn a lot from you." Lucifer replied raising his drink in a salute before moving off and disappearing into the crowd leaving Castiel feeling special and proud.

"Cas, be careful." Came Sam's voice at his side all of a sudden.

"What do you mean Sam?" Castiel asked turning to his brother-in-law with a frown. What was Sam talking about?

"Well Lucifer, he has a bad rep. I heard he tried to gain info on the trial the DA put against his client." Sam replied, imparting the info he had on the guy. From all he knew Lucifer was bad news, and he wanted to make sure Cas knew that. He didn't want him getting involved in anything shady with the guy.

"That is normal Sam. He is a defence lawyer." Castiel explain in a slightly patronising tone that a junior lawyer would feel the need to give him advice about who he talked to, family or not.

"Yeah well, I heard he went about it in not so legal ways." Sam responded heatedly. He did not appreciate Cas' tone. He was only trying to warn the guy after all.

"Do you know this for a fact Sam? Because if so you should lodge a complaint." Castiel responded suddenly taking Sam's words seriously. If that was true there were legal channels they needed to go through, and he would support Sam all the way.

"No not for certain, but it was an ironclad case and we lost. It's just… I've heard things." Sam replied suddenly feeling on somewhat shaky ground. He had hear things, and it was a known fact in his department that when you went against Lucifer you talked to no one. But how could he explain that to Cas? He didn't work in the environment that Sam did, where they were up against the worst of the worst on a daily basis and trusted no one. Compared to that Cas had a life of luxury.

"Sam you know better than to listen to rumour. He works for Crowley, and while his clients may well be the scrum of the earth with deep pockets, Crowley has a code, and he is never underhand. He has his set of rules, twisted though they might be. He never goes against the law." Castiel responded with absolute belief in Crowley. He may not like the guy or his clients, but he did have to respect his professional integrity, it was second to none. It was probably why everyone feared going against his firm, because they knew that they would be using their skills in the court room and nothing else to win. And they often did win. Crowley's lawyers had a reputation for their charm.

But before Sam could reply to that Dean was suddenly at Cas' side. Taking him into his arms whispering sweet and meaningful apologises that went along with kisses and congratulations for his win. As such the idea of rumours, and Lucifer, and even Sam fled from Castiel's mind. All he could think about was the man in whose arms he now rested, in his husband, the man he loved. And how he was smiling at him with charm and apology and promises that it would never happen again. Promises Castiel should have known Dean would never be able to keep. But then he wasn't much better. After all when Dean previewed in a gallery he had a long standing agreement with two weeks later, Castiel was so caught up in his paper work he missed most of the show, only turning up at the end, barely having the time to take a quick look at Dean's paintings, with an apology on his lips. They should have seen it then, what was happening to them. That they were both putting their work before their marriage, but they didn't, they didn't have time to think such things, to analyse their actions.

They had too much work to do.


	13. Chapter 9

**Hello my dears. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So this chapter is again rather short, but it moves the story along a bit. I hope you like it. The bit in italics is sort of Crowley's input to Castiel's story. Hope that makes sense.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Dean and Castiel returned home, picking up a take-out on the way, and settled down on their couch to eat and catch up with all that had happened. Castiel told Dean of his trial and Dean spoke of how he had just got a new major show. It didn't occur to either of them that while they talked they were in fact having two different conversations, with Dean discussing his work and Castiel discussing his. It was as if they didn't even truly hear each other, they were both too obsessed with what they had to say to invest time in the others words. It was a discord, but it was also one which had developed slowly over time, such that they didn't even notice it. To them this was the way they talked now. Long gone was the time of hanging off each other's words, listening with baited breath to every sound the other spoke. It was a comfortable conversation where they believed they were connecting, and yet nothing could be further from the truth. In fact it wasn't until they went to bed, joined together as to married people should that they truly connected once more. That they finally found the other, found there true feelings for each other and expressed them accordingly. If only they could take that feeling out of the bedroom and put it into the rest of the lives everything would have been fine. But they didn't, hell they didn't even notice it was missing from their daily lives.

* * *

As such Castiel went to work the next day and found that his performance in court had pleased his superiors so much that he had been suggested as lead for another high profile case. It gave him something else to get his teeth into and he couldn't wait. But unlike in previous times, he didn't call Dean straight away to tell him this, nor did he call him to tell him he might be late home, instead he took up the file with all the information his firm had and read through it, marking the things he would need to look into to build a solid argument and getting the juniors to search what he needed.

And when he finally got home, later than was usual and feeling a little guilty for not telling Dean, he found that rather than his husband sitting there waiting for him with a drink and some slightly burnt dinner, the apartment was in darkness, expect for the light that shined from beneath the studio door. Going to it and pulling it open he found Dean in a frenzy of painting with his music blaring. He was so in the zone he had even realised that Castiel was there watching him. And rather than admiring the visage in front of him Castiel instead found himself thinking for a moment. He could go and greet the man he loved, pull him away from his work and they could get dinner together and talk, just as he used to do, or he could go and ring for pizza and relax. And as much as he loved Dean, and he really did, he felt that the idea of having to hold a conversation right then was rather tiring. He had been talking most of the day, trying to make the inept understand what he wanted them to do. As such he shut the door to the studio quietly and made his way to the livingroom and the couch, pulling his phone from his pocket as he did so. He knew what Dean would want to eat after all, so he might as well order it and while he waited he could relax with a drink and maybe catch up on some of the reading he hadn't been able to do in so long. Yes that was perfectly acceptable behaviour, Dean was obviously busy with the work for his new show, and Castiel did not want to disturb him. Plus the idea of relaxing on his own appealed to Castiel right then. He had concentrated so hard at work that day, relaxing with a good book sounded like his idea of heaven.

And when the food arrived and Castiel called Dean from his own world the painter apologised profusely but Castiel waved it off, told him he understood. They both had demanding careers after all. And they both had their own lives to lead. It was fine, as such with a kiss shared between the both of them they settled down to watch some TV together, feeling that everything was fine. That they were still as good as they once were, completely oblivious to how far they had pulled apart from each other.

And if, after that night Castiel found himself going to the bar rather than going straight home from work, giving himself a chance to relax with in the quiet with a drink and whatever book he currently had on his e-reader, there was nothing wrong with that was there? I mean he knew Dean would be busy, so there was no need to interrupt his husband. Let him work, and Castiel could relax. It was all fine.

And it was, or at least it was until Castiel found that he was no longer alone in the bar reading. Until he found he someone to keep him company, someone who was determined to be as charming as he could. Making Castiel trust him in a way he shouldn't, and make Castiel feel special in a way he hadn't in a long time. Someone who flattered him, and appealed to his intellect. Someone who while he could charm the birds out of the trees, was in truth the snake in the grass. The snake Castiel did not truly see until it was far too late to change his course. The snake that ruined it all.

Lucifer.

 _But then again, was there really that much to ruin in the first place?_


	14. Chapter 10

**Hello my sweet peas. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Sam walked into the bar with his fellow defence lawyers with the aim of celebrating the win they had just had. It had been hard fought, but the righteous had prevailed. As such he was laughing and cheering with his colleagues when his eyes caught sight of someone he recognised in the booth at the back. It was Castiel. And he seemed to be talking and laughing with someone. It was so similar to how Castiel and Dean used to be that Sam just assumed it was his brother that was hidden from the main bar. But when Sam made his way round, aiming to say hi, he saw much to his horror, that rather than Dean putting the twinkle in Cas' eyes and the laughter on his face, it was Lucifer. What the hell was going on here? Because if Sam didn't know any better he would say that Cas and Lucifer were acting as if they were a couple, or at least well on the way to be one. But that couldn't be. Cas and Dean loved each other. He knew that. He knew it with every fibre of his being. So why the hell was his brother-in-law sitting here with another guy, a slimy douchebag at that, and not at home with his loving husband? Sam was tempted to go over and confront Castiel, but he knew that wasn't his place. Only Dean could do that. As such his path was clear. Therefore he made his excuses to his friends and walked out of the bar, with only one destination clear in his mind. He needed to find his brother and get him here, get him to reclaim the love of his life.

* * *

Sam hailed a taxi which took him to Dean and Cas' apartment and once there he took the stairs two at a time. He tried knocking at the door but got no response, and for the first time since he had moved out he was glad he still had a key. Letting himself in he found the apartment in darkness, and he wondered if Dean was even there. Then he saw the light from the studio and he knew where he would find his brother. Damn him. No doubt he had got himself so lost in his work. He needed to remember he had Cas in his life too. Sam would not let him lose him. Not now, not ever.

As such Sam barged through the door, making it bang against the wall making his brother jump. He felt slightly sorry that he also made his brothers hand move, he had no doubt just ruined a priceless piece of art, but somethings were more important.

"What the hell do you think your doin'?" Dean asked rounding on his intruder, happy to vent his anger when he saw it was his brother. Why the freakin' hell would he do that? This was for his show. He had so much to do and so little time. He did not need this shit. The interruptions or the ruined work.

"Dean what are you doing?" Sam asked wondering how Dean could be working when it was so late at night and his husband was busy being chatted up by another man. I mean seriously, what the hell?

"Working Sammy, what does it look like?" Dean snapped back looking at the painting in front of him, seeing if there was any way of fixing what his brothers arrival had done to it.

"And where's Cas?" Sam asked crossing his arms. Even if he knew the answer, he wondered if Dean did, or if he even cared.

"He'll he home soon. He's been working late recently." Dean responded already falling back into the world of his work. Completely oblivious to anything else.

"He isn't working Dean, he's in the bar talking to Lucifer." Sam replied pulling his brother from his painting and making him look at him with blinking eyes. It was as if Sam had said aliens had landed or something. How could his brother be so blind at how far he and Cas had drifted.

Dean stood there thinking over Sam's words. They hurt him. The idea that Cas was out with someone else, but no doubt this Lucifer was just a friend. Though the name did nag at him, make him want to remember something from long ago, but he couldn't put his finger on what. And hey he wasn't the best company right now, even he was aware of that. No doubt it was just some guy Cas had mentioned from work. Someone he could talk lawyer shit too. It wasn't like he knew the first thing about it after all.

"Yeah well no doubt he needs a sounding board that understands what he's talking about. I know jack shit about the court room." Dean replied dismissing his brother's words, or at least doing so on the outside. Inside something was curling around, though he had no idea what it was, or what it was trying to tell him.

"I don't trust Lucifer, Dean. He makes my skin crawl." Sam explained, trying to get his brother out of his own head and into the real world where he seriously needed to be if he was gonna save his marriage. Or at least that was how it seemed to Sam. Not that he would say that to Dean. He didn't want to destroy his brother's vision of the man he loved.

"Yeah well I trust Cas okay, so leave it Sam." Dean bristled in reply, completely aware of what his brother was implying and there was no way Cas would ever cheat on him. They loved each. Okay sure they hadn't spent much time together of late, and maybe they could remedy that. Once this show was done he would take a break, spend his time focusing on Cas and their marriage, he just had to get this work done.

"Fine. Just don't come crying to me when the shit hits the fan." Sam sighed when he realised Dean had gone back to thinking about his painting. If this was how Dean was with Cas he couldn't blame the guy from going elsewhere for conversation. He just hoped that was all it was. He hoped that nothing more happened.

"I won't cos it won't. Cas and I love each other. Ain't nothing gonna stand in the way of that." Dean replied fervently. There was no way Cas would cheat on him, right?

"I hope your right." Sam murmured as Dean went back to his painting and Sam made his way out of the apartment. He did not want to see his brother hurt, nor did he want to see Cas that way. They loved each other, he knew that. The question in his mind right then was, was love enough? He had a horrible feeling that the answer in this case was going to be a no, and he had no idea how it would fall out, or how to deal with it if and when it did. He just hoped Castiel and Dean sorted it all out before it went too far.

A hope which was to go unanswered, mores the pity.


	15. Chapter 11

**Hello my dears. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review.**

 **So here is the next chapter, time to find out what happened, or at least the first bit of it. Umm, enjoy?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

It was a Friday. But it wasn't just any Friday. It was the last working day before Castiel was due in court the following Monday to fight his case. The opposition had still not named there lead council, but he was not concerned. They had a good case, a case they had worked hard on. They would prevail. As such he was feeling in the mood for celebration when he entered the bar rather than going home. And Luckily Lucifer was there for him to talk too.

Castiel was feeling so buoyed by thoughts of the glory he would receive when he presented his latest case he drank more than he should have. Of course some would say drinking anything with Lucifer was one drink to many but, but Castiel was naïve enough to not listen to that talk. The man was perfectly pleasurable to talk to. In fact he made Castiel feel better than anyone had in a long time. And that included his husband. But right at the moment he was not thinking of Dean. He really should have been. But he wasn't. Instead he was smiling and laughing at something Lucifer said, unaware of how close the other man had come to his face until he felt Lucifer's lips on his own. He knew he should pull away and leave, he should.

But he didn't.

Instead he found himself responding to the attention. Enjoying the feel of learning the contours of a strangers mouth, enjoying the feel of being desired for not just his looks but his brain as well. But soon enough the real world came rushing back to him and he realised what he was doing. As such he pulled away from Lucifer with horror in his eyes at what had just happened. What he had let just happen. What he had done during what had just happened.

"I can't. We can't. I love Dean." He spluttered out feeling as if someone had just thrown a bucket of cold water over his head. If only they had, it might have sobered him up and made him do what he should have done. But again, he didn't.

Instead as he rose from his seat, aiming to run from the bar and to his husband Lucifer stopped him with a hand on his arm and a truly apologetic look upon his face.

"I am so sorry Castiel. That was my fault and it should not have happened. I promise it will not happen again, let me get you a drink to show you how sorry I feel." Lucifer said in such a sincere tone Castiel could not disbelieve him.

"I think I should go Lucifer." Castiel replied. He accepted Lucifer's apology, these things happened, and he was the one at fault. He was the one married and spending time with another man.

"Just one more drink, to show there is no hard feelings between us. We are still friends are we not?" Lucifer asked in his silky voice, making sure to keep the smirk from his face and the glint of a plan from his eyes. He had spent too many hours working Castiel, wooing the stupid man, to get what he needed to allow failure at the eleventh hour.

"Of course. Very well one more drink." Castiel agreed with a nod of his head. I mean what harm could one more drink do?

That was the sentence that sealed Castiel faith in more ways than one. Because the last thing Castiel remembered was Lucifer bringing him that one last drink and him drinking it.

What he remembered of what followed was flashings of conversation he was sure he should not be having, telling secrets that should not be shared, plans that should be known only by his colleagues, and then there was kissing and touching, consensual kissing and touching from both sides. That was something he really should not be doing.

In fact the next clear memory Castiel had of that evening was lying in an empty bed completely naked and feeling sexually sated.

Oh god, what had he done?

Castiel lay there frozen for a good five minute before he tried to pull himself together. He needed to get back to Dean. He needed to get home. Maybe then he would find this was just a horrible nightmare. With that thought he pulled himself from the bed and feeling sick he pulled his clothes on from where they were strewn about the room.

He didn't know how he manged to make it home, his mind was in pieces. He had cheated on Dean. That seemed such an innocuous sentence, but it was a blow at the foundations of his life. How could he have done such a thing? He loved Dean more than anything. Why would he ever go with anyone else? No, he couldn't have. He wouldn't. But he had. He had said yes to Lucifer.

As such it was in a daze he made his way into his and Dean's apartment. For the first time in forever he hoped to find it in darkness as he had done for so long. A darkness he could hide his crimes in. But instead walking through the door he found the place full of light and delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Oh god no. don't let it be… not tonight. Not after what he had done. But it seemed Castiel could not look away from what he was about to see. Like people who drive past an accident on the freeway. He had see, no matter how gruesome it got. Therefore he turned his feet to the kitchen where he found Dean singing along off key to his music as he cooked dinner.

"Hey Cas, I made burgers? You hungry?" Dean said when he saw his husband standing in the doorway, though when he saw his pale face he put down what he was doing and went over to the man he loved with a frown on his face. He had no idea what had happened but by the look of it, it was bad. He took a deep breath to open his mouth to ask Cas what the matter was, but that was when he smelt it. It was subtle, and he wouldn't have noticed it had he not been so close. But there was no mistaking it. Cas smelt of another man's aftershave. Dean couldn't believe it. There was no way, right? No way Cas would cheat on him. I mean he also smelt of the bar, maybe he and his friends had been celebrating something and he had just got to close to one them. Stuff transfers like that right? Cos Dean couldn't take it if there was any other reason for that smell. No. Cas would not do that. Cas loved him and he loved Cas. He trusted Cas. Cas would not cheat.

So instead of speaking, instead of asking Cas what was wrong he moved his head closer, his stomach churning as he did so, aiming to kiss the man he loved. But just as their lips were about to touch Castiel turned his head. He couldn't kiss Dean. Not after what he had done. He didn't deserve his husbands love. Therefore Dean's kiss landed on Cas' cheek, a cheek which smelt far too much like the foreign odour Dean was trying his best to ignore.

"I have drunk too much. My breath is bad." Castiel mumbled as an excuse for not kissing Dean, and as he said the words Castiel felt his heart break. It was the first time in his life he had lied to the man he loved. But this evening he had done so much worse than just lie.

Dean nodded at that and pulled back, taking a step away from Cas and taking a deep breath. He had a choice right then. And it was the most important choice of his life. He could confront Cas about whatever it was that had obviously happened, or he could let it go. He knew he had been ignoring Cas recently, or if he was honest for longer than that. Sam had even warned him he was doing it. So he could choice to destroy all they had, or he could pretend not to notice. He could pretend nothing was wrong and spend however long it took to repair the damage he had caused.

"Well why don't you go shower and brush your teeth. You've got time before dinners ready." Dean said making his decision. He would let it go and he would do everything in his power to win back the man he loved.

"Yes I will." Castiel replied shakily. He could not believe Dean had accepted that. That Dean didn't know what he had done with just a look at his face. But right now he needed to remove any memory of Lucifer from his body, if only he could remove it from his mind as well. If only he could turn back the clock he would have said no to the extra drink. But he could not undo what was done, all he could do now was do his best to make it up to Dean. Be the best husband he could be and hope that would wash away the guilt churning in his stomach.

When Castiel left the kitchen Dean collapsed against the side finding it hard to breathe. He couldn't believe this was happening. He had never once thought he would have to fight to keep the man he loved at his side. But maybe he should have. Love was not a god given right after all. It was earned, and he certainly hadn't been putting in the hours. He could do this. He could get Cas back. He couldn't imagine any world where he didn't have the man he loved at his side.

And Castiel in the shower letting the scolding hot water run down his body felt tears stream down his face at all he had forsaken. At how in one moment of drunken insanity he had given away the best thing that had ever happened to him. But he would make it right. He had too. He could not envision a life without Dean, he would not envision it. And it was only then, when he was close to losing it that he realised the truth. Dean was everything to him.


	16. Chapter 12

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So sorry this took so long, I haven't been feeling very well so instead of writing have been spending my time lying on the couch watching supernatural. As you do. Anyway here is the next chapter, I hope you like it, we are getting there.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel came out of the shower and returned to the kitchen cautiously. He had scrubbed himself as clean as he could, and right now he needed something, anything to make him believe all he had done was just a nightmare. That he hadn't just betrayed the one person he had no wish to ever hurt. A hope that he could pretend it hadn't happened. Pretend he and Dean were fine.

* * *

Dean was just dishing up when he heard Cas return ,causing him to turn. Seeing him in his casual pants and tee, seeing his husband as he remembered him to be, Dean didn't hesitate. He put down the pan in his hand and moved so he was standing in front of Cas, he then placed his hands gently on either side of the other man's face, so that no matter what he could not turn from Dean's kiss. Though Dean really hoped he wouldn't turn this time. With that he took a deep breath and once again lowered his lips to Cas'. Bracing himself for the fact that is husband might pull away, might not want what he was offering. But he was ready to tighten his hold if he needed to, if it was the only way he had to show Cas he wasn't going to go away without a fight, but he didn't need to. Castiel stood there and welcomed Dean's kiss. Embraced it in fact. Throwing all the love and care and passion that he could into that meeting of lips. Any way to show Dean that he loved him. That he was the only one he wanted, that nothing else mattered, nothing but him.

Dean felt the kiss, knew what Cas was trying to say, and felt a relief he had never experienced before wash over him. It wasn't to late. They could save this, together they could save their love.

Once the kiss was over they both fell into a wish to do whatever they could to savage what was left between them. Dean listened to every word Cas spoke about his case over dinner and suggested happily that he would be in count on Monday morning to watch his husband create his magic, if he wanted him to be. A suggestion that Castiel gratefully accepted. Castiel on the other hand listened intently to Dean's talk of his paintings and the show he had in a weeks time. He was so keen to find out about Dean's painting he insisted on seeing them once their dinner was over. As such Dean took Cas to his studio and showed him all the paintings he had created.

Castiel looked at them with wonder in his eyes. He had forgotten how talented his husband was, how talented Dean was, or maybe he had just got so accustomed to it, Dean's talent stopped registering. But not now, not anymore.

"They're beautiful Dean." He whispered as he turned canvas after canvas of colour and light.

"Not as beautiful as my inspiration." Dean responded kissing the base of Cas' neck so he would realise that by inspiration he meant him. He meant the man he loved, the man he thought about as he put brush to canvas, the man he wasn't sure how he would ever live without.

"Oh Dean." Castiel sighed leaning back against him. How could Dean still be so loving after all he had done. How was he ever to make it up to the other man, the most important man in his life?

With that thought Castiel turned in Dean's arms and pulled him close for a proper passion filled kiss. A kiss which held love, but also desperation. A desperation from both of them to make up for all the wrong they had done, and the pain they had caused.

Without parting their lips, Dean walked Castiel backwards towards the old couch he had in his studio and gently pushed him down upon it as he moved to kiss Cas' neck. He had finished his paintings, he could now spend all his time and energy on Cas, on their marriage, trying to rectify whatever had gone wrong, what made Cas…. nope. He wouldn't think of that. If it was never spoken of, then Dean could believe it never happened. Cas loved him, Cas would never betray him. He just needed to be shown Dean loved him too.

* * *

Castiel went to the couch willingly, and not because he would do anything for Dean right then. No, but because he needed Dean, he needed to know he was there for him, with him, that he had not lost it all. He knew he would have to do much to make up for what he had done, even if Dean never knew the truth, he did. And Castiel swore to himself that he would do everything he could to make sure Dean never had a reason to doubt him. To doubt his love.

And so the pair did something they hadn't done in far to long. They made love somewhere other than their bed, they made love in Dean's studio as they used to, back at the beginning of their relationship when Castiel used to sit for Dean. When Castiel had still had the time to be Dean's muse.

* * *

They spent the rest of the weekend doing just as they had decided in there minds. Dean spending all his time and energy on Cas, making him dinner and helping him in any way, becoming, for the weekend at least, the best husband Castiel could ever wish for. Of course Castiel's guilt did the same for him, propelled him to be the best for Dean. And so the pair spent an almost perfect weekend together, at least it was perfect on the outside. And it was a perfection they were desperate to keep.

They made up for their respective faults, while neither one of them addressed the elephant in the room. They really should have, because come Monday that elephant decided to go on the rampage in the form of Lucifer rearing his head once more.

And in one simple act, that elephant destroyed everything.


	17. Chapter 13

**Hello my dears. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin for the lovely review.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it. I have been looking forwards to writing this one for a while, and the next. (Evil cackling coming from the writer as she rubs her hands in glee, and writes about herself in the third person. Hmm.).**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Dean chose a seat as close to the front of the courtroom as he could get on the side that Cas would be working. He wanted to watch his husband hold a room full of people in the palm of his hand with just a few words and a look. He had always loved how masterful Cas could be in the courtroom. It was strange, before he hadn't thought about how he hadn't been here, but now he was, he realised he'd missed this. Missed watching Cas as he worked his magic and win his case.

* * *

Castiel was at his table in the court room arranging his papers, but he still saw Dean come in and take his seat and he couldn't help but give his husband a smile. He had forgotten how much he loved seeing Dean watching him. How much it made him feel as if he could do anything while he had those green eyes watching him work. He couldn't wait to show Dean what he could do in an arena such as this one. Such a grandstand for his work. In fact he was so absorbed by thinking about Dean that it wasn't until the gate opened that he realised that his opposing council had arrived. He turned to give them a smile as a professional curtesy, but when he saw who it was he found that smile freezing on his lips. Because the person setting up opposite him was none other than Lucifer, the devil himself.

No, this could not be happening. Because, as he suddenly remembered, he hadn't just had sex with the other man. He had told him things, thing about this case that he shouldn't know. Things that could destroy it all. Oh god, no. Not now, not here. Please god, don't let it all come tumbling down now. Not after he and Dean had just got things sorted, please god, don't bring it all down around his ears now. But even as he pleaded in his head Castiel watched as Lucifer turned to him and gave him the evilest smirk he had ever seen. It was no good, he was doomed. It was all doomed. This was where his life was going to be over, and it would all be at the hands of the slimy bastard standing opposite him.

"Hello again Castiel, I hope you had a good weekend. I don't think your week is going to go so well." Lucifer said in an undertone his smirk increasing at how his words made Castiel's eyes widen.

Castiel could get no words out to that. All he could do was watch in slow motion as Lucifer stood up and presented his arguments for dismissing the case to the judge. Arguments that were counter to all he had prepared. Arguments that were made in such a way that he had no defence against them. He had nothing to say, there was nothing he could say. Nothing that could defend him against what he had done. This was all his fault.

It took the judge only half an hour to dismiss the charges and for Lucifer to end Castiel's career. He couldn't move. Couldn't speak, couldn't believe what a fool he had been. What a conceited idiot he had been. There were no words to describe his stupidity right then. So instead of getting up and leaving as he knew he should Castiel did the only thing he could. He hung his head and closed his eyes and once again wished this was just a nightmare, even if he knew that it wasn't. He couldn't face it, not yet, he couldn't face his colleagues, his bosses, his Dean. He had screwed them all completely.

* * *

Dean had watched Cas' face change when the other council came into the courtroom and he had watched him turn white and wide eyed. And though he had no idea what was going on Dean got a sick feeling in his stomach as he looked at the smarmy bastard's face as he smirked at Cas. He wanted to jump up and punch him square in the jaw, but that wasn't really the done thing in court. Instead he had to sit there and listen as the man announced himself as Lucifer. The name Sam had warned him about. The man who had approached Cas at his graduation that he had hated on sight so long ago. It was him. He was the one who had destroyed everything. Dean could do nothing while the man spoke, so he tried to tune him out and concentrate on Cas. Surely he would be able to fight this guy right? Even if he had… no. he was a professional. He could do this. But watching, it slowly dawned on Dean that Cas had no response to Lucifer's words. He had completely destroyed the man Dean loved, and he hated him for it. No matter what might or might not have happened between him and Cas, right then Dean hated Lucifer for destroying Cas and no other reason.

Once it was over Dean stood with the aim to go to Cas, but before he could make his way through the gate Lucifer and his team came out. Dean had to stand there and let them pass, that was bad enough, but when Lucifer spoke to him, in that low oily voice of his, it took every Dean had not to grab him and beat the shit out of him.

"Much better in bed than the courtroom that husband of yours isn't he?"

And then he was gone and Dean could move towards Cas. He refused to think about Lucifer's words, all he could think of was being there for the man he loved.

"Hey Cas, you alright?" Dean asked as he crouched down at Cas' side trying to look into his eyes. Though even as he said the words he knew they were stupid.

"Just peachy, Dean." Castiel replied with a small self-deprecating smile as he raised his eyes to Dean's. As long as he still had him he could do this. He could take whatever was to come, as long as he had his husband at his side.

Before Dean could reply there was the sound of a clearing throat and Castiel turned to find the junior lawyer who had come with him at his side.

"The board would like to see you ASAP." The boy, Kevin, Castiel remembered his name was, said.

"Of course. Dean I need to go-" Castiel said to Dean after nodding in agreement to Kevin. It was time for him to face the music.

"No problem. I'll see you at home. I love you." Dean replied leaning in to press a gentle yet meaningful kiss on to Cas' lips. Trying, in that kiss, to say all he couldn't out loud in a crowded courtroom.

"I love you too." Castiel whispered as they pulled apart, and with one more smile for the man he loved he turned and pulled himself together. It was time to see if there was any way to savage anything from this mess he had made of his life. At least he still had Dean.


	18. Chapter 14

**Hello again my sweethearts. I would like to thank** **tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review.**

 **So here is the next chapter, and we are now back at the beginning of this story. Enjoy? Not sure if that's the right word, but I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Dean was waiting with a glass of whiskey for the both of them. He had thought about cooking, but he wasn't sure what time Cas would be home. So instead he decided to go with alcohol, they could get a take-away if needs be later. Upon hearing the door open he jumped up with both glasses in his hand and waited with bated breath for Cas to join him.

* * *

It had not gone well. Not that Castiel had thought it would, but when he had told the board that Lucifer had gained the information from him when they were drinking, they hadn't appreciated that. So much so it was a lot worse than he had thought it would be. He had known he would lose his job, that was a forgone conclusion, but he hadn't realised that they would push for a full investigation with the aim of getting him disbarred. A full investigation that would tell the world what he had done. That he had got drunk told secrets to the enemy and then jumped into bed with him, literally rather than figuratively. Everyone was going to know soon enough. Sam would know and he would tell Dean. No. if anyone was to tell his husband it had to be him. It was time to come clean and suffer the complete destruction of his life. He was ready for it. It was no more than he deserved after all.

Taking a deep breath he stepped into the livingroom to be greeted by what would have once been a welcome sight. Dean waiting for him with a worried frown on his face and a glass of whiskey in his hand. Whiskey, yes. That he could do with right now.

Without a word Castiel took the glass Dean held out for him and downed it in one gulp before moving to refill it.

"I'm guessing it didn't go well then." Dean said, anything to break the suffocating silence that had prevailed in the room since Cas had walked through the door.

"No, not well." Castiel responded with a humourless chuckle as he downed yet another glass of whiskey before filling it once more.

"What happened?" Dean dared to ask. He needed to know so he could help Cas fix it. They needed to fix it. He needed to fix it. This was all his fault after all.

"I got fired and they are launching an investigation to get me disbarred. I will never work again." Castiel replied in a monotone voice as if the words didn't mean a thing.

"Oh Cas." Dean responded with despair evident in his tone. He had no idea how to help Cas through this, but he would. He loved him.

"Don't feel sorry for me Dean. This is my fault. I told him our plans you know. I told Lucifer." Castiel replied rounding on the only person who was offering him support and comfort. It was a support and comfort he did not deserve, and he would not take it.

"I'm sure you didn't mean to-" Dean started to say, hoping to find a way to make Cas feel better even if he knew it was futile. He had to try.

"It doesn't matter what I meant Dean, it only matters that I did. And do you what's worse, after I told him I had sex with him. How do you feel about that?" Castiel spat at Dean. He needed to stop seeing him as some sort of perfect figure, or some hurt puppy. He was nothing of the sort, he was dirt, he wasn't even fit to lick Dean's boots.

"Cas I…" Dean tried to say, swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat at hearing those words from Cas' mouth. He had known, of course he had known. But knowing and hearing Cas say it like that were two very different things.

"What Dean? What can you possibly say to my cheating on you that would make it all right?" Castiel demanded glaring at him. Why was he still here? Why wasn't Dean raging at him and storming out? or maybe kicking his ass for what he had done. Why was he just standing there looking at him?

"Maybe we should talk about this." Dean replied evenly. He knew Castiel was distraught about losing his job and maybe his career, but that did not mean they needed to lose each other. He loved Cas, and he was willing to try again, if Cas was. Oh god he hoped Cas was. He didn't know what he would do if he had screwed this up so badly that Cas didn't want him anymore. What would he do then? No, don't think like that. He and Cas loved each other. They could get through this, they could.

"Well that would make a change wouldn't it?" Castiel responded sarcastically smirking at Dean in a way he had never seen him look at him before. It was as if this was a different man in front of him. A man he didn't partially like.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked narrowing his own eyes at the person who was not his husband that was in front of him.

"We don't talk Dean. We haven't talked in years. We exist together side by side that's it." Castiel replied with an exasperated sigh. Surely he wasn't the only one to work that out right? They hadn't had a proper relationship in god knows how long.

"Cas I love you." Dean stated simply as if those words would solve all their problems. As if by saying they loved each other would wave a magic wand and heal all the cracks. Heal what Castiel had done to their marriage. The mockery he had made of it. The mockery everyone would soon know all about.

"But it's not enough is it? If it was I wouldn't have jumped into the first bed offered me would I?" Castiel replied spitefully. He couldn't understand why Dean was still standing there telling him he loved him. He had betrayed him in the worst possible way, and he destroyed everything they had. And yet, Dean still claimed to love him. No it wasn't possible. No one could love him after what he had done.

"So that's it?" Dean whispered seeing his life falling apart in front of him but having no idea how to stop it from happening. He would not make Cas stay with him if he didn't want to. He would let him go if he asked. Because he would not make Cas unhappy. But by god, did he ever hope Cas didn't ask. He still hoped he would turn around and say they could work it out, together. He hoped.

"Looks like." Castiel replied in a distant tone, so this was how it all fell apart. With one single whispered sentence, no punches thrown, no shouting, just a whispered sentence.

"Fine." Dean replied evenly. He couldn't be here. He couldn't do this. He couldn't stand here and accept him and Cas were over. He just couldn't. As such he turned on his heel and left the room, automatically going to the only place he felt comfort. His studio.

"Fine." Castiel whispered to Dean retreating back. He felt sick. What had he just done? Dean had tried to talk, Dean had wanted to help. Dean had not seemed surprised by his confession. It was then the conversation he had just had with his husband hit him full force in the face and he realised what words had been said, by him and by Dean.

Dean had been willing to try.

Oh god, what had he done. He needed to get out of here, he needed to be away from the complete destruction he had made of his life. With that in mind he quickly left the apartment. He needed to be away and find somewhere where no one knew him to drown his sorrows. He needed to find somewhere he could breathe.

And Dean, standing in his studio heard the door of the apartment close, causing him to sink down against the door. Cas had left him, it was over. With those thoughts the tears came, they came in such a stream he could barely breathe, his life was over. What was he to do now?


	19. Chapter 15

**Hello my dears. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured this story since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, we are back at the beginning now. I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

"So now you know it all." Castiel murmured drunkenly to his unwelcome drinking companion.

"So I do." Crowley replied with a sigh. Seemed Castiel had managed to mess things up even more than he had thought he had. He had thought that Dean was the one to throw him out and that was why he was here, but no. Castiel decided to walk out on the man. Was he bloody stupid?

"Can I go now? With the whiskey." Castiel asked grabbing for the bottle which was now empty, not that Castiel realised this. He had had far too much to drink to be able to notice such a small thing as an empty bottle.

"I think you've drunk all that, but feel free to leave. It seems something your good at." Crowley replied with a smirk, which only grew when Castiel took a swing at him for his words and would have fallen off his stool if Crowley hadn't caught him and pulled him upright.

"Now, now Castiel. Don't try to hit someone when you are drunk, you will fail." He said in a patronising tone which made Castiel just glare at him. He wanted to be gone from this… assbutt, who knew everything he had done. All his mistakes, all he had done to destroy his own life. Who needed enemies, he had happily done it all himself.

With that thought Castiel pulled himself out of Crowley's grasp, almost falling over backwards but managing to stop himself by grabbing the bar. Once the world had stopped spinning and was only slightly wavy Castiel decided it was time to go. Though where he had no idea. Maybe he could go home to Dean. Maybe they could talk, if nothing else he could apologise. Yes that was what he would do. He would go back to Dean, beg him to forgive him.

That decided he stood, and almost toppled over once more.

"Let me help you to a taxi." Crowley said gently grabbing the extremely drunk man's arm and escorting him out of the bar, ignoring Castiel's mumbled protests. Once outside Crowley flagged down at ride and bundled Castiel inside.

"Do you think you'll manage to get home?" He asked, meaning to just be friendly, but when he realised Castiel couldn't even sit up straight in the back he knew it was a lost cause.

"Bollocks." He murmured. It was his own fault he supposed. He shouldn't have brought Castiel all that whiskey, but at least he had got him to talk. He couldn't fix anything without knowing what he needed to fix. Hmm, maybe it would be good if he accompanied Castiel home, he could maybe talk to Dean. If he was in a better state than his husband that was, which Crowley highly doubted considering who it was he was thinking of. But the one thing he knew was there was no way Castiel could go home alone. Not in his current state.

Therefore Crowley climbed in beside the drunken man and gave the driver Castiel's address. Of course Castiel thought he was planning on taking him back to his and tried to get out of the taxi, but Crowley quickly made it so it was impossible for him to do so. He put on Castiel's seatbelt. He knew in his current state there was no way the other man would be able to work it. He was proved right when the taxi pulled up outside Castiel's apartment building. Crowley had to admit he didn't help straight away. He was enjoying watching Castiel trying to climb out of the car while still buckled up to much. It was really entertaining.

Once he had finally released Castiel from the confines of the car and the man had stumbled out, he paid the driver and followed, standing there watching Castiel crawl on his hands and knees towards the door.

"Would you like some help Castiel?" He asked with amusement. He had never seen this man so decomposed after all.

"I'm fine. Go home." Castiel mumbled crawling his way towards his door. Towards his Dean. That was his only thought, to get back to Dean.

"Come on." Crowley said pulling Castiel up from the ground and dragging him to the door. Taking his keys and letting them in. He was just glad that Dean and Castiel lived in an apartment building with an elevator. There was no way he was carrying Castiel up all those god damn stairs.

Once they reached the correct floor he unlocked the door and dragged Castiel in.

"Dean? Dean. Dean!" Castiel shouted the second his foot was over the threshold. Crowley felt sorry for other man. Who wanted to have to deal with a drunken Castiel? Not him that was for sure.

But no one came at Castiel's calls. No one was there, the apartment was empty. At that realisation Castiel sagged. He had lost him. He had gone, and it was all his fault.

"Whoa there kitten. Come on, let's get you to bed." Crowley muttered when he realised he was now holding the whole of Castiel's weight. The guy was surprisingly heavy.

"Not sleeping with you." Castiel mumbled in reply. He was done with sleeping with anyone who wasn't Dean. Dean was all he cared about. Dean was everything in his mind.

"Good glad to hear it." Crowley replied with a chuckle. Castiel must be very drunk if he thought there was a remote chance he would want to bed him. He had his standards.

Crowley finally managed to get Castiel to the bed, removed his shoes and threw a cover over him. That would do in his mind. The other man had passed out as soon as his head had hit the pillow.

Leaving the bedroom Crowley made his way to the studio he knew Dean had. Going in he found the lights still on, but that the painting equipment had been removed. Not all of it, just what someone could carry.

"Oh Dean, where are you?" He muttered moving over to the paintings stacked against the wall. He browsed through them, saw a couple he would be interested in buying. Hmm, he must make sure he attend Dean's latest show. But that wasn't why he was there, looking round the room he saw how all the walls were covered in paintings, some finished, some half done. But there was one space. A space which he knew from the position of the furniture in the room, would be the area of the wall Dean looked at as he worked. Just what had hung there that Dean had decided to take it with him? What was so important about the painting that had hung there? Well he wouldn't get answers here.

Instead Crowley left the studio and made his way to living room, pouring himself a glass of whiskey as he settled onto the couch and he picked up his phone. Might as well make use of the time until Castiel woke. It was time to find out the complete truth about what Lucifer had done, because while he had listened to Castiel talk he had sensed something… off, something not quite right with what he was saying. And he knew his previous employee, he was devious. He did not trust him as far as he could throw him. It also seemed he needed to find an errant artist. His minions would do it. They never slept, it was what he paid them for after all. With that thought he set them to work, so that by the time Castiel awoke the next morning feeling like hell warmed over, Crowley had a lot of answers for him. Answers to questions he had even known to ask, or even consider.


	20. Chapter 16

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the wonderful review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel woke and instantly wished to be asleep once more. He felt like hell. His head was pounding and even with his eyes closed the light coming from the uncovered window was shooting pains through them. But then he realised what had awoken him. It was the smell of food cooking. Dean. With that Castiel's eyes shot open despite the pain. If Dean was here he needed to speak to him, no matter how bad he felt. With that thought he rolled out of the bed, landing on his hands and knees in the blessed shade of the bed. He noticed he was still fully clothed, that at least saved him time trying to find something to wear. Pulling himself up onto his feet he saw a glass of water by the bed. Dean must have put it there for him. Even when pissed at him his husband was still so thoughtful. Picking up the glass he proceeded to sip it until it was empty, he knew from experience that if he gulped it down as he wanted to he would be seeing it again far too soon.

The water finished he found himself feeling at least slightly more, well normal would be a lie, but at least a little better. Enough that he could make his way to the kitchen and beg Dean's forgiveness for everything he had done.

With that in mind Castiel made his slow and cautious way, following the smell of bacon and eggs and toast. But when he got to the kitchen the person he saw there was the last one he wanted to. And he was certainly not a reason to get out of bed, ever.

"Good morning kitten. How's the head?" Crowley asked banging the pan he was cooking the eggs in loudly and enjoying how it made Castiel wince. Served the boy right for drinking all his bloody whiskey last night.

"What are you doing here Crowley?" Castiel growled, making his way to the coffee machine and pouring himself a cup. He refused to acknowledge who it was who had made it, just threw in a load of sugar and milk and moved to sit so he could drink it. Hopefully without being sick.

"Well there didn't seem much point in leaving last evening. Plus I have some news I imagine you would like to hear." Crowley replied plating up the food he had been cooking and putting one down in front of the seriously hungover man.

"I doubt you have anything I want to hear." Castiel grumbled reaching for the food and taking a cautious taste. Damn, it was actually good. Who knew Crowley could cook?

"Well let's see… Lucifer no longer works for me and I am having the ruling overturned for his malpractice. He drugged you by the way, that was why you spilled your guts and then let him jump your bones. And as such I am in the process of clearing your name. You will no doubt be able to go back to work soon with only a slight black mark on your record." Crowley responded with a smirk on his face as he tucked into his own food. He was rather proud of all his minions had been able to achieve and find out during the night. But then it was what he paid them for.

"I wasn't drugged when I kissed him." Castiel replied glaring at the other man. There was no excuse he could use for what he had done, and there was no excuse anyone would take for his behaviour, no matter what Crowley said or did.

"True, but that was just a slight indiscretion." Crowley responded with a wave of his hand as if kissing a man who wasn't your husband was nothing to worry about. As if it wasn't an issue.

"It was cheating on the man I loved Crowley. And no one will employ me, no matter what you do." Castiel growled at him. How could he dismiss what he had done to Dean so easily? How could he think that it would all be fine with just a wave of his hand?

"You can come and work for me, kitten. I would be more than happy to have you." Crowley suggested a gleam in his eye at the idea of having Castiel on his payroll. Of having Castiel as one of his. Oh he would never lose with him fighting for him rather than against.

"When hell freezes over." Castiel spat in response. He would not go and work for such a shady assbutt no matter what. He would prefer to be disbarred and unemployed rather than that.

"Think about it." Crowley replied unconcerned by the venom in Castiel's voice. He was sure that when he had coincided it Castiel would come round to his way of thinking. He loved his job to much to not work, the boy was born to rule a courtroom, and he was giving him a chance to do that again.

"Where's Dean?" Castiel asked changing the subject to the one thing he wanted to know. He had worked out that if Crowley was still here his husband had left. He had failed, and he had missed his chance at even attempting to make it right. Now he just wanted to find him, to apologise, to give Dean whatever he wanted, even if that was a divorce. He wouldn't blame him if he did. He had cheated, it was all his fault. He had destroyed their love and their marriage, it was only right Dean got to walk away. But he still wanted a chance to talk to him first.

"That I don't know. Your husband is very good at disappearing it seems. You any idea where he would go?" Crowley asked. He had been searching for the man, but for a famous artist, he was bloody hard to find.

"To Sam." Castiel answered immediately. That would always be where Dean would go, to his brother.

"He didn't." Crowley replied simply. It was the first place he had checked and come up with nothing. Sam had no idea where his brother was.

"Then no." Castiel responded with a sigh. Dean had gone. Left him just as he deserved to be left. He would never get him back now.

"He took his paints." Crowley said seeing the way Castiel's shoulders sagged deciding he needed to know the extent of Dean's departure. He thought of mentioning the missing painting as well, but decided not to. Let Castiel find that out for himself. Crowley had no idea what the painting was of, but it had obviously been important to Dean.

"Then he isn't coming back." Castiel whispered before placing he head down on the table. He didn't have the strength to keep it up any more. He didn't have the strength for anything anymore. Dean was gone and with him had gone his world.

"Give it time, we'll find him and you can win him back." Crowley said, trying to be conciliatory even if it really was not in his nature. In his mind this was nothing more than Castiel deserved for walking out on the kid when he had wanted to talk, but he was trying not to rub salt into the wounds, not right now at least.

"There is no way Dean will take me back now, and I don't blame him for it." Castiel mumbled not raising his head, deciding that the table was a good place as any to go back to sleep and hopefully never wake up again.

"Enough with the pity party Castiel. You want him back don't you?" Crowley snapped, he could only do so much softly softly crap, and it didn't seem to be working. Castiel needed to get his head out of his ass and find the strength to pick up his life. Because at the moment the way he was, there was no hope in hell he would get anything out of this disaster.

"More than anything." Castiel responded lifting his head to stare at Crowley as if he had two heads. Of course he wanted Dean back, he just didn't deserve him back.

"Then you had best be ready to fight for him then hadn't you?" Crowley stated simply. This wasn't over yet. He wasn't done yet. He would pull this out of the fires of hell. He was Crowley, and fixing the destruction that his employee had caused was what he had set out to do. And he always succeeded in what he set out to do. Failure was not an option in his mind. Castiel had better get that through his thick skull right now, because he would not be pulling his punches and he was done taking kittens crap.

It was time for Castiel to face the battle, and fight to win.


	21. Chapter 17

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review.**

 **So here is the next chapter. I know it's short** **but I thought it was time to see what Dean was thinking about in all this, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

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Dean had no idea no long he had lain there, on the floor of his studio after hearing the close behind Cas. Lying there, letting the tears fall. He had no idea what he was going to do now. All he knew was that he couldn't stay here. He needed to come up with a plan to win Cas back, because there was no way he was letting him go without a fight. But before he could fight he needed a stagey. And to find that he needed to leave.

He methodically packed up his paints and a couple of small canvases, putting them all into his travelling case. He then took one more look around his studio to make sure he hadn't missed anything. It was then the painting he had put opposite his easel caught his eye. It was a painting he had done from a photograph Sam had taken of him and Cas on the night they had got engaged. They were sitting together on the couch smiling so happily. He had always loved that picture. It gave him the inspiration for all the work he had done in this place. He couldn't paint without it. He couldn't paint without the sight of a happy carefree Cas. The man he loved. Therefore on such a sentimental note he took it from the wall and packed it as well.

With that done he proceeded to his and Cas' room and grabbed a random selection of clothing, enough to keep him going for however long he would be gone. And then, carrying just two bags to represent his life, he took one more look around the home he had shared with the man he loved and left. He would return as Cas' husband or he wouldn't return at all.

Shutting the door behind him for the first time he wondered where he was going to go. His first thought was to go to Sam, but then he remember the conversation they had had, where his brother had tried to warn him about Lucifer. And how Sam had told him not to come crying to him when it all went wrong. Sam's was out of the question then. He needed to find somewhere where no one would know his name, no one would know who he was. Therefore when he got to the street he flagged down a taxi and asked it to take him to the crappiest motel he could think of. And he had been in some crappy motels in his time. He had come from nothing after all.

* * *

He got himself a room, booking it for a week to start with, hoping that he could hole up there and strategize. Find a way to get the man he loved back in his life. Find a way to make up for all the mistakes he had made. Find a way to show Cas that he meant more to him than anyone or anything else in the world. Find a way to show Cas that he would change for him, that he would be there for him this time round. Show him he did not need to look elsewhere for love and company.

Moving into his room he threw his bag of clothes in the corner, but his painting stuff he laid out lovingly. Pulling out the painting he had taken from the wall, It was then he let himself go. He grabbed the bottle of crap whiskey he had brought and sat there staring at the picture while he drank his sorrows away. He knew that that wasn't a solution, but everyone deserved a moment of self-pity right? Before they bounced back into the fight. This was his moment.

He woke the next morning with a hangover, but he pushed that aside. He had done concentrating on himself. Now was time to work out how to get Cas back. It was then he remembered he had a show in a weeks' time. A show he couldn't miss no matter what. He had done all the paintings for it already, but what if he added another? What if he added one which was for only one man? What if he painted Cas the perfect picture, one which showed how much he loved him and wanted him back? Would it work? Would Cas even see it? If he could paint the best picture he ever had then surely he would. They would put it on the front of the program, in the reviews. Surely Cas would see it. Yes.

With that Dean pulled out his portable easel and a canvas and started to create the painting of his life. The painting which reflected all his love for his husband. The painting he was pinning all his hopes for the future on.


	22. Chapter 18

**Hello my dears. I would like to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **Sorry for my absence, but I was at a convention last weekend so had little time to write. Anyway, I'm back now, so here is the next chapter. I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Crowley had left shortly after cooking Castiel breakfast. He had to go and do damage control, on not just Castiel's career but the reputation of his own company as well. As such Castiel was left to his own devices, left to walk around the apartment he had once had the perfect life in. Walk round aimlessly trying to find something, anything, to distract himself from the fact that Dean was not there and he had no idea where he was. He stayed well away from the studio. He couldn't go in there, that place held nothing but memories Dean inside, and he wasn't ready for that, not yet.

He was just settling down on the couch to binge watch some random TV when he heard a key turn in the door. Castiel had never moved so fast as he did then, hoping against hope that it was Dean returning to him. Dean retuning and still willing to talk. But it was the wrong Winchester that walked through the door, making Castiel sag against the wall in disappointment.

"Cas. What the hell man?" Sam exclaimed upon seeing his still worse for wear brother-in-law. I mean he had let Lucifer dupe him into sharing privileged information. Sam had always thought Cas was better than that. But it seemed he was wrong.

"Lucifer drugged me Sam." Castiel tried to explain, hoping his brother-in-law wasn't about to hit him for what he had done to Dean. Not that he didn't deserve it, he would just prefer Dean was the one throwing the punches, not Sam.

"Why the hell did you even trust the guy in the first place? He's the slimiest ass I have ever met." Sam replied with a sigh running his hands through his hair. There was nothing anyone could do about it now he supposed. What was done was done, he just couldn't get over Cas being so stupid.

"I…" Castiel responded before realising that there was nothing he could say to answer that. Sam had warned him about Lucifer but he had dismissed him. Decided that because he didn't make as much money as him, because he did not have the same reputation as he did, his words meant less. He had never been so wrong. He had been so proud and stuck up his own ass, he didn't heed the warnings given him, and now this was the result. His life in tatters and there was no one to blame but himself.

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked realising that Cas already no doubt felt shit enough, he did not need him jumping on the bandwagon. What they needed to do now was come up with a strategy to try and save something from the mess.

"He's left me Sam." Castiel replied carefully. Why did Sam think Dean would stick around after what he had done?

"Why the freaking hell did he do that?" Sam asked completely perplexed by that sentence. There was no way his brother would walk out on Cas over this. If anything the Dean he knew would stick to the man he loved like glue and help him in any way he could.

Castiel stared at Sam with his mouth falling open. Sam didn't know. Dean hadn't told him. He had been sure that Sam would have been the first one Dean would have called. And yeah, Crowley had said he didn't know where he was, but Castiel had doubted Sam would have shared that information with Crowley no matter what.

But he didn't know. Oh god, where was Dean and what was he doing?

"Sam you have to find him, right now." he said with an urgency in his tone that startled the other man. Why did he need to find Dean? It was Cas' career that was imploding around them, not Dean's.

"Cas, what's going on?" Sam asked with a frown of confusion. He suddenly felt like he was missing something, and that something was pretty important.

Castiel took a deep breath before he replied evenly "I cheated on him Sam."

"You did what?" Sam asked in complete astonishment. Because this was Cas, his brother-in-law Cas, the same Cas who loved Dean as much as he knew Dean loved him. He wouldn't do that. He would never cheat on Dean, no matter what. They were Dean and Cas, and nothing could come between them. right?

"I had sex with Lucifer. Go, find him, he needs you." Castiel replied trying to push Sam towards the door. He needed him to understand the urgency of what he was saying. He had broken Dean's heart and he was out there alone. Who knew what the elder Winchester was doing.

"You had sex with… please tell me this is some kind of sick joke." Sam whispered. No. Cas couldn't have done that. He couldn't have broken Dean in that way, surely not, right? No. just no.

"I wish I could. Please find Dean." Castiel begged his brother-in-law as he saw the horror appear in his eyes as he processed what Castiel was saying.

"Oh I'll find him alright and I'll make sure you never come near him again. And if anything has happened to my brother Castiel, then so help me god, I will make you pay." Sam growled anger fuelled by the sudden worry for Dean coursing through him. If he wasn't so concerned with finding Dean right then he would happily beat the crap out of Castiel for this. With that sentence Sam walked quickly out of the door, with only one thought in his mind. Find his brother before he did something stupid.

"Fine, just find him. I'll take whatever punishment, just make sure he is okay." Castiel whispered against the closed door after Sam had left. With that said he felt all the energy inside him drain away and he collapsed down onto the floor. Dean was out there all alone, and he had no idea where he was or what he could do to help him. Oh please god, let him be okay.


	23. Chapter 19

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank NerdySpaceBean for the wonderful review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **Also** **the convention was awesome, can't beat a Jensen hug, and I have finally managed to get a picture with Mark where he is actually smiling, only taken four tries.**

 **So anyway sorry in the long absence, I was finishing off another one of my stories, but I'm back now. I hope you like this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

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Crowley sat in his office glaring at his computer. Not one of his minions had been able to locate Dean, and that was not acceptable in his mind. With a sigh he leant his head back against his chair and let the annoyance leave his mind so he could think clearly.

What he needed was someone who knew Dean and would be able to think of a way to find him that he himself had not. But he knew Sam Winchester would never help him and Castiel seemed to be clueless, in so many ways. So who was there to help him. Closing his eyes he remembered all that Castiel had told him while they had been drinking, suddenly his eyes shot open as a name came to his mind. The name of the one person who could well help in this, if he could get her too. With that in mind he called through to his assistant.

"Find Charlie Bradbury and get her to me, now." He said in a bored voice before sitting back with a self-satisfied smile on his face. Yes she would be able to find Dean. Not only did she know the man, she was also Castiel's best friend from college, and she was also a very good hacker if he remembered correctly.

* * *

Charlie was sitting at her desk writing code without thought when her phone rang. Picking it up and fitting it under her chin she spoke as she continued to type.

"Charlie Bradbury, how can I help you?"

"Hello Miss Bradbury, Mr Crowley requests your presence in his office immediately." Came a smooth female voice which just made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. Though that could be because she said Crowley wanted to see her. She knew all about him, Castiel had told her how evil he was and how he worked for the scum of the earth. Anything to make his money.

"Umm, well I'm a little busy right now, how about tomorrow at noon?" She suggested in a cheery voice hoping to put off the woman on the other end of the phone. I mean it wasn't like she could drop everything just because Crowley wanted to see her now was it? And why the hell did he want to see her? She wasn't a lawyer, and surely he knew she wouldn't do anything shady for him.

"I'm sorry but Mr Crowley was most instant." The female voice replied with more force this time.

"He can insist all he wants, I can't just leave." Charlie snarked back. She was so done with this. She was about to hang up when she was distracted by her boos stopping at her cubicle and coughing to get her attention.

"Charlie, sorry to interrupt, but I have just been informed you are required."

"By who?" Charlie asked though she had a sinking feeling inside her that told her she already knew that answer to that one.

"Mr Crowley." Her boss replied before walking away.

"Give me half an hour to get a taxi." she said into the phone with a sigh. She knew she had no choice if he had been in contact with her boss. Just what the hell was she going to be made to do?

"No need. There is car waiting for you outside." The female voice replied before Charlie was greeted with the dial tone. It seemed the woman had hung up.

"Of course there is." She muttered to herself before saving her work and grabbing her bag. The sooner she got this over with the sooner she could get back to something useful, the real work she did.

* * *

Crowley was in his office going over some papers when a red headed woman in a strange cartoon t-shirt walked in.

"Whatever it is, I won't do it." Charlie stated at the man behind the desk, crossing her arms as she glared at the one she had always considered Castiel's nemesis.

"Not even if it's for Castiel?" Crowley asked with a smile. He liked her already, not many had the balls to greet him as she had just done. She was fiery and not short on spunk. Yes he could see her pushing Dean and Castiel together easily.

"Castiel has nothing to do with you." Charlie stated. She wasn't going to get roped into doing this with that line. She knew enough about the legal world to know Castiel did not work with Crowley, ever.

"Usually that would be true. But events have happened that have changed that. Please take a seat, what I am about to tell you is not acceptable in my mind, and I need your help to correct it." Crowley replied gesturing with his hand to one of the plush chairs in front of his desk.

"I don't believe you." Charlie responded with a sneer. There was no way in hell Castiel would ever work with Crowley on anything.

"Believe this, Castiel has lost his job, his career, and most importantly his husband." Crowley stated simply. He was done with niceties. He needed her help in finding Dean, and he would get it. Even if that required he told her the whole sordid tale, though as Castiel's best friend, maybe it would be good if she knew it all. Maybe she could help him where he could not. The kitten trusted her after all.

"What? How? Why?" Charlie asked in disbelief. I mean his job and his career? Okay she could accept that. But Castiel losing Dean? No that wasn't possible in her mind. Nothing could come between those two, right?

"All very good questions. If you sit I will tell you everything I know, and then I will tell you what I require from you. If you still do not wish to help once I am finished then you may leave. I will not stop you, but I don't think you will." Crowley replied, making sure that he had the subtle hint of a challenge in his eyes. Charlie seemed the kind of woman who would respond to that approach.

"Fine, start talking." Charlie replied after half a minute of debate before she sat. There was no way Crowley could say anything that would get her to help him. No way in hell.

And so Crowley did just that. He told her all Castiel had told him, and he told her what he himself had discovered. When he was done he looked into her wide, shocked eyes and told her what he needed from her.

"I need you find Dean. I need to talk to him, to tell him what I have told you. Castiel needs him."

"Of course he does, what Lucifer did, that's disgusting." Charlie replied outraged that her friend had been treated that way. That anyone could do that to another human being, but most of all that anyone would do that to Castiel.

"Yes it is. Will you help me?" Crowley asked in rare sincerity. He could and would deal with Lucifer with everything he had, but he could not fix Castiel's marriage without finding Dean, and for that he needed her.

"Can I use your computer?" Charlie asked standing and already walking round his desk to take control of it.

"Of course." Crowley replied pushing his chair back so she had complete access.

It didn't take long, just a few strokes of the keys and Charlie had found Dean's location. Though looking at the address she was pretty sure it was the last place anyone would look. Which probably meant it was exactly where he was.

"Here, its dodgy motel on the outskirts of town." She said handing the piece of paper over to Crowley. She didn't even think when she did it. All she wanted to do right then was go to Castiel, to help him, be with him after all that had happened. He would need his friend right now, and there was nowhere else she wanted to be than at his side.

"Thank you Charlie." Crowley replied genuinely. He was now one step closer to returning kittens love, all he had to do now was persuade the man. But considering persuading people to his point of view was what he did for a living, he didn't see a problem with that.

"Whatever, can I go?" Charlie responded not really caring about Dean. He had left Castiel, and that was not acceptable in her mind.

"Of course, my car will take you wherever you wish, oh and I informed your boss that I needed you for the rest of the week, so do not feel the need to return to work." Crowley replied with a wave of his hand.

"Thank you." Charlie responded with surprise, he really wasn't anything like Castiel had made him out to be. Oh maybe he was in the court room, but right now, in this, he was actually being rather nice.

"Don't mention it, and I mean that darling. I have my reputation to keep." Crowley replied with a smirk before informing his assistant that she would need the car.

Feeling thoroughly dismissed Charlie left. She had only one destination in mind. She was going to go to Castiel, and she was going to be there for him. Someone had to be, and as his best friend it would be her.

* * *

Crowley watch Charlie leave before informing his assistant he would be gone for the rest of the day. He had a motel to visit, and a painter to see. It was time to get the other side of this story, and time to set the record straight.


	24. Chapter 20

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank spnfankat81, Guest, tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the wonderful reviews.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Crowley approached the door of a nondescript room at the worst motel he had ever had the misfortune to visit. And he had seen the inside of a few in his time, his clients did tend to like to have first meeting in these places, he had yet to work out why. But that did not matter. What did was what he would find on the other side of the door. He stood staring at it for a few seconds as he wondered whether to knock or just walk straight in. The nice girl on the front desk had given him a key after all. It was amazing what a hundred dollars could get you in a place like this. After a second more internal debate Crowley decided to use the key. If he knocked that gave Dean the chance to refuse to let him enter, thus giving the other man the upper hand. And that was not an option for this conversation, not in his mind at least.

Walking through the door he blinked at the change in lighting, he had expected it to be dark and dank, but even though the curtains were closed, every light and lamp in the room was on, making it brighter than the outside. Once his eyes had adjusted he saw a sight he had not expected. Because there was Dean, perched on a stool with a paint brush and palette in hand. He would have wondered why Dean had not heard him enter, but no one could miss the volume of the music blaring from the speakers of a sound system. The sound system he just knew was not standard for a room like this one. It seemed that while Dean may not have been out in the world, he had been doing some shopping.

Walking over to the stereo Crowley turned the music off, taking relief in the blessed silence for a second before a growling voice spoke.

"What the hell? I've paid you to leave me freakin' alone."

"No Dean. You haven't paid me to do anything." Crowley replied smirking at how his voice made the other man's head shoot up from the canvas in front of him.

"What'd ya want Crowley?" Dean asked cautiously. I mean it didn't do to be rude to one of his best customers, but he would really prefer to be left alone right now. He had a painting to finish, and a husband to win back.

"I came to talk." Crowley replied simply, not moving from his place by the stereo. He knew how artists were about their work in progress. They never wanted anyone to see it. He would give Dean that much respect, for now at least.

"Oh yeah? What about?" Dean asked with a humourless laugh. There was nothing Crowley could have to say that he wanted to hear. In fact he didn't want to hear anything other than Cas telling him he wanted him back, that he loved him, that they would make it work this time round.

"Castiel." Crowley responded simply noting how that simple name had Dean putting down the things in his hand and turning to give him his full attention. So he still had feelings for his husband then? Good.

"You leave him alone. You've done enough." Dean growled narrowing his eyes. If this man did anything to Cas, he would kill him. No questions about that, screw what would happen to him. He would kill him.

"I have done nothing. Lucifer on the other hand has done far too much." Crowley replied evenly seeing how Dean tensed at the name.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked in a monotone voice his face becoming stone as he redirected his vengeful wrath upon the other man. Lucifer would die if he had hurt Cas. Simple as that.

"He drugged Castiel so he would tell him the inside information for his case, and then he had sex with him. While he was drugged." Crowley said plainly deciding that it would be best to just come out with it. He wasn't going to sugar coat it for the man who had walked away.

"He did what? But I thought-" Dean responded completely adrift with the information he had just been given. Cas hadn't cheated on, Cas hadn't been leaving him to go and see his lover. Cas had been drugged. Basically Lucifer had raped him. What the hell? No. No one did that to the man he loved and lived to tell the tale. He was gonna kill him, slowly and painfully. Make the bastard cry out begging him to stop. Oh yes he was going to make Lucifer beg for mercy, not that he would give it. But by god, he'd love to hear that sound. Love to wipe the smug smile from the bastards face. There were so many ways he could do it too. So many ways he would enjoy watching him suffer for harming Cas.

"Thought what?" Crowley asked with a raise of his eyebrow. This was what he had come to discover after all. Why it was that Dean had left. Was it because he did not care for Castiel anymore? Or was there another reason?

"Where is he?" Dean asked dismissing Crowley's question with one of his own. Ready to go and exact Cas' revenge on the guy.

"Why?" Crowley asked though one look at Dean's face and he was pretty sure he knew the answer to that one. A more murderous look he had never seen. It was rather enlightening to see that Dean could look more dangerous than the worst of the criminals he had represented.

"Cos I'm gonna kill him slowly." Dean responded simply as if he was commenting on the weather or another such inane topic.

"I think it would be best for Castiel if you didn't end up in prison." Crowley tried to reason. He had not come here so Dean could go on a killing spree after all. He needed to get the man to think of his husband. The man he was pretty sure Dean was still very much in love with.

"I don't give a crap, that bastard is dead." Dean growled narrowing his eyes at man standing in his way of Cas' vengeance.

"Let me deal with Lucifer. Trust me, I can do so much more than you." Crowley replied in a low tone, a tone which held authority and pulled Dean from his lust for revenge.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Dean asked with a sneer as he cross his arms.

"I can ruin him. Lock him up and throw away the key. You leave Lucifer to me. Your job is to help your **husband**." Crowley responded emphasising the word so he could get through the fog in Dean's mind. So he could get the man to think of the most important person in all of this. Get him to think of Castiel.

"Cas." Dean breathed as the last time he saw him came to mind, making the fight drain from him. He had been such a freakin' fool. What had he done?

"How is he?" He ventured to ask, wondering if his husband would ever want to see him again when he had deserted him in his time of need. How could he have been so selfish as to leave? He should of stayed, been there for him. Not run at the first sign of trouble. Son of a bitch he was such a freakin' idiot.

"Not doing so well. Charlie is with him at present. Why did you leave him?" Crowley asked pressing the point now he had Dean on the robes.

"I thought he didn't love me anymore. I was trying to find a way to getting him back." Dean muttered, knowing full well how selfish that sounded.

"Are you really that stupid? Castiel has always loved you Dean. And now he needs you." Crowley replied in exasperation. What the hell was wrong with these two?

"I can't not yet." Dean replied turning his eyes to the painting in front of him. He had done the worse thing he could. He had deserted Cas in his time of need. He had to do something really big to make up for that. And in his mind the painting in front of him started to take on an even bigger role than he had previously thought it would hold. This was his way of making it up to the man he loved, his way of showing him he was sorry and that he loved and that he would never leave him again.

"Why not?" Crowley asked with a frown. What was more important than being with Castiel right then? Work? Because if so, then Dean did not deserve the man.

"Cos I don't deserve him." Dean replied echoing Crowley's thoughts, though for a different reason to the one the lawyer was thinking.

"Oh of the love- what is wrong with you people?" Crowley muttered before moving towards Dean. What he was going to do he wasn't sure. What he wanted was to shake some sense into the man, but as soon as he moved so he could see the half-finished painting on easel he was hit with understanding. It was an abstract work, which had at its centre a pair of blue eyes Crowley knew well. The feel of the painting was one of love, almost worship.

"Oh. Is that for the show?" He breathed still trying to take in the feelings Dean had managed to convey with just some coloured paint on a canvas.

"It's not for sale." Dean grunted. He hadn't wanted anyone to see it yet. It wasn't finished yet.

"I don't want to buy it Dean. But I do think Castiel should see it." Crowley responded dryly at the man's words. Like he would ever buy something that personal. This was a painting purely for Castiel, he knew that, as would anyone else who saw it.

"That was the plan." Dean begrudging replied. Though where the information Crowley had just brought him put that plan now he had no friggin' clue.

"You finish the painting, I will make sure he is there." Crowley said simply. It was the perfect solution. Castiel needed to know Dean loved him with all his heart, and this painting would tell him that like nothing else could. Let Dean finish it, and let Castiel see it. The rest would sort itself out, of that he was sure.

With that said Crowley turned with a shish of his coat and left the room turning the music back on as he went. Leaving Dean to finish his painting in peace. He had a renegade lawyer to destroy, and oh how he was going to enjoying doing that.

* * *

Dean sat there running through so many different emotions. He went from fuming that someone would harm the man he loved to the guilt at having deserted Cas when he needed him. But finally his mind settled enough for him to see the painting he was staring absently at. This was his way to show Cas what he meant to him, but looking at the canvas in front of him, he frowned. Now he knew the truth he realised that the painting was too pretty, too much of the rose tinted glasses life they had lived for far too long. It was time he added the real world into it. Time to show he loved Cas, no matter what. With that he picked up his brush and palette once more, though rather than going for the bright colours he had been using, he mixed up a deep blood red and using that and black started to make strokes on the empty corner he had not been sure how to fill. He knew now. He needed to show Cas that no matter what he loved him and he would be there for him, for the rest of the lives, Dean would be at his side giving him everything needed and more.


	25. Chapter 21

**Hello my dears. I would like to thank Guest and** **tardis-impala-221b-merlin for the lovely reviews.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Charlie arrived at Castiel and Dean's apartment only to find that however much she knocked, she got no answer. Glaring at the door she wondered how to get inside. Because she was sure Castiel was in there, and there was no way she would let him continue to be alone. Not after what she had just found out. Studying the lock with a calculated look she turned to her bag. After some rummaging around she found a couple of hair pins. Perfect. Taking them in hand she stuck her tongue between her teeth as she set about trying to pick the lock. It had been a long time since she had done this, but it seemed she hadn't lost any of her skill. It took her only a few minutes before she had the door opened in front of her. Hell yes, though if she could pick it, then Castiel and Dean really should think about getting a better lock for their front door. But that didn't matter right now, what did was that she was in. All she had to do now was find Castiel.

She made her way to the livingroom and that was where she found her friend. Curled up on the couch looking at the blank TV with dead eyes.

"Castiel Novak-Winchester, what do you think you are doing?" She snapped when she saw him, her worry making her more aggressive than she truly wanted to be.

"Grieving the loss of my life and my love. What are you doing Charlie Bradbury? You know it's illegal to break into someone's home." Castiel replied lethargically as he rolled over so he could look her in the eyes. He was so done with it all, he just wanted to be left alone so he could face the emptiness in side of him. Decide what to do with it next. He couldn't decide between drinking himself to death, or just not moving. The latter seemed more favourable, for the whole not moving part. Though the first did offer the illusion of oblivion.

"I am here to make you stop. To get you to get your ass into gear." Charlie replied with an upbeat voice shocked by the tone in her friend's voice. It sounded as if he had given up, and she would not let him do that. Not now, not ever.

"Give me one good reason too." Castiel muttered turning back to staring at the photo of him and Dean that was on the bookcase next to the TV.

"Dean. I found him." Charlie replied simply, knowing exactly what to say to motivate her friend.

"You did? Is he okay? Does he want to see me?" Castiel asked sitting bolt upright at his husbands name as he fired off the questions.

"I don't know, Crowley went to speak to him." Charlie replied taking advantage of Castiel's movements to sit on the couch next to him to stop him lying down again.

"Why?" Castiel asked with a frown. Not so much as why Crowley would go and see Dean, though that was a question in its self, but more why Crowley knew where he was when he didn't. And how did Charlie know he did?

"To tell him that that dick drugged you." Charlie replied answering the obvious rather than the convoluted questions in Castiel's mind. He decided to put them aside, for now.

"Do you think that will make a difference?" He asked instead hope appearing in his eyes at the idea that maybe Dean would come back to him if he knew he had not been in his right mind when he had had sex with Lucifer. Though of course he then remembered Sam's words. That he wouldn't let him near him again, but Castiel also knew that Sam would never be able to make Dean do something he didn't want to. So if he really wanted him back, then he would come. He knew that deep inside him, deep down in his soul.

"Dean loves you Castiel, of course it will. Now go and shower. You stink." Charlie replied smiling at the hope in Castiel's eyes and really hoping that her words were truthful. That Crowley could persuade the man back to his husband's side. But she couldn't see why Dean won't return. Not when he knew the truth. Surely he knew that Castiel hadn't chosen to cheat on him? Surely he knew he loved him more than anything, right?

* * *

When Castiel came out of the shower Charlie cooked them both a decent meal and made sure to keep the conversation light. But as the evening went on without Dean's arrival she could see her friend slipping back into his depression. She couldn't have that. As such she slipped away to call Crowley, to find out what was going on. Who would have thought that this morning she would be in cahoots with that guy? Not her that was for sure.

"Crowley where's Dean?" She asked without any pleasantries. That was not why she called.

"At the motel. He's working on something for Castiel." Crowley replied with a sigh. He should have expected this call, but he did not want to say too much. Castiel would need to see the painting to truly understand, or at least he hoped he would.

"That's not going to help him right now, why the hell isn't he here?" Charlie snapped her feeling for her best friend's husband going from bad to worse. That ass should drop his frigging paint brush and high tail it to his husband, surely being with Castiel was more important right then.

"Because he's a bloody idiot. Just make sure Castiel is at the galley opening at the end of the week." Crowley replied with exasperation. He was not going to orchestrate everyone's lives, nor was he a marriage councillor, that was not his job. They needed to sort this out for themselves. He had done his bit surely.

"And until then?" Charlie asked ignoring the tenor of annoyance in Crowley's voice. She didn't give a shit how he felt, her only care was for Castiel.

"Tell him Dean loves him, but he wants to prove it." Crowley replied simply letting out a deep breath. Why were they all making this so bloody difficult?

"And when that fails?" Charlie asked once more determined to make Crowley go and get Dean and bring him here. She would do it herself, but she did not want to leave Castiel alone.

"He is your best friend Charlie, I am sure you can think of something." Crowley replied refusing to do as she wished. Dean would come back when he was ready, he would not make him. She had to make sure Castiel pulled himself from whatever state he was in. He needed to be at the opening to see Dean's declaration of his feelings for him. He needed to see that his husband loved him as much as he did.

"Fine." Charlie responded with a growl before hanging up. Okay, so she needed to distract Castiel. Well she could do that, maybe.

With that Charlie told Castiel that Dean had been delayed and as such decided to make him binge watch all of the Game of Thrones. That should keep them busy for a few days at least.

And Castiel sitting watching the flicking scenes on the TV wondered just what had delayed Dean. The only thing he could come up with was that he didn't want him back. That the fact he was drugged didn't counter the fact he had slept with another man. But instead of falling back into the black pit he had been in when Charlie found him, the one caused by the idea that no knew where Dean was, he found himself trying to come up with ideas to get his husband back. Because he knew he couldn't go on without him, but he did not have to just lie down and accept Dean's decision, he could change his mind surely. That was what he did, influence people's minds, turn them to his way of thinking, and he was damn good at it. Surely he could find a way to do it to Dean, right?


	26. Chapter 22

**Hello my darlings. I would to thank tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the lovely review. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

It took Sam a lot longer to find Dean that it had Crowley, mainly because he didn't think to ask Charlie other than as a last resort. But finally three days after he had found out that he had gone AWOL Sam found himself outside the door of a dodgy motel. Only Dean would hide out in a shit hole like this. He could afford a five star hotel, but no he had to choose this place. Damn his brother. Knocking on the door Sam got no response, but he could see the lights on in the place. Which meant Dean was either ignoring whoever was at the door, or he was too drunk to hear. And knowing his brother he would guess at the latter. Dean loved Cas so much that the guys betrayal must have hit him real hard. Damnit, he was gonna kill that bastard, once he got Dean out of his shit hole and away from a ready supply of alcohol. Then he would crucify Cas for what he had done to him. With that decision made he banged on the door with all his worth shouting as he did so.

"Dean, get your ass to this door before I kick it in." He was rather frustrated after the last few days. He had spent most of them fending off people wanting to know what was going on with Cas' career. Like he cared.

"You don't have to be such a bitch, Sammy. I'm here." Dean said pulling the door open, as much as he had wanted to ignore whoever was knocking he knew he couldn't ignore Sam. For one he was his brother, and for two he wouldn't put it past the guy to kick the door down, and that would just be a seriously annoying interruption of his work, rather than the mildly annoying one he got from talking to him.

"So your alive, well that's a start. How drunk are you?" Sam asked at the end of his tether. His brother seemed fine, well except for the paint spatters covering his clothes, face and even in his hair. What the hell? Dean had been painting?

"I'm not actually. What are you doing here Sam?" Dean asked refusing to open the door further and let Sam in. Crowley had seen his work because he had got a key. Dean had learnt from that mistake and paid the receptionist handsomely to make sure she didn't give out any more. Sam was not gonna see what he was working on. No one was until his opening. Then he would let the whole world see how much he loved his husband. Until then, he was busy.

"I came to make sure you were okay after what that bastard did to you." Sam responded running a hand through his hair. He really would prefer to have this conversation inside, but he didn't want to push Dean. He knew what his brother was like. The more you pushed, the more he resisted. And well, at least he was alright.

"And which bastard would that be?" Dean asked in a deceptively calm voice. He had an idea who his brother was talking about, but he really hoped he was wrong. And he really hoped Sam hadn't said or done anything to the man he loved if he was right. That he would not be happy about.

"Cas of course. Look I'm sorry he cheated on you, it was an evil thing to do." Sam responded releasing his anger on the hopes of helping his brother through what was to come, which would no doubt be a messy divorce.

"He didn't cheat on me Sam, he was drugged and raped." Dean replied bluntly keeping his emotions in check. He didn't after all really want to deck his brother, even if hearing him say those words made that his go to thought.

"But- what?" Sam replied confused as he processed his brother's words. He vaguely remembered Cas saying something about being drugged, but he had just assumed that was an excuse… but if it was true… then that made him see everything in a completely different light.

"What the hell are you doing here then? He needs you." Sam asked fuming once more, though this time at his brother for not standing by his husband. By the man he loved. Cas would need help and support through this, and yet, Dean was here, painting?

"I have something I need to finish. Then I'll be there for him. He has Charlie." Dean replied evasively. He knew academically he should be with Cas. But he needed, deep down in his soul, to show him how much he loved him. Show him how important he was to his very existence. He couldn't stop his current project and go to Cas, he just couldn't.

"She isn't you Dean. He's gonna need you. Is he pressing charges? Because I can get it fasted tracked, speak to the detectives and DA. We'll get the evil fucker who did this to him." Sam responded changing track as fast as he could now he had had his eyes opened to the complete truth of the situation.

"I don't know, speak to Crowley. I imagine he has it all in hand." Dean replied with a shrug, though not looking Sam in the eyes. He knew if he did he would see his disappointment and confusion at his decision to stay away.

"What's Crowley got to do with any of this?" Sam asked completely confused by that statement. I mean Lucifer worked for the guy, surely he was on his side right?

"You know what? I have no idea, but it seems to be a lot." Dean replied with a humourless chuckle as for the first time he wondered just why Crowley was involving himself in his and Cas' lives. It was not the norm after all. He was Cas' nemesis from what Dean had always seen.

"You need to see Cas, Dean." Sam said with a sigh not really sure what was going on anymore, but he had a feeling he was gonna have to have a chat with Crowley about. Oh yeah, that was so what he wanted to do with his time.

"I will, at my opening. You'll be there right?" Dean asked not waiting for a reply as he closed the door on this conversation. He had a painting to finish.

"Oh yeah, I'll be there." Sam muttered to the closed door before turning back to the parking lot. Time to see if he could track down Crowley and find out exactly what was going on, and what he planned to do about it.


	27. Chapter 23

**Hello my darlings. So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Castiel and Charlie were on to the fourth season of the Game of Thrones. She through that was pretty good going considering they had only been watching it for three days. Of course as Castiel wasn't really sleeping then neither was she. Therefore she also looked a mess and had beady eyes, but luckily she had seen the show before, so it didn't really matter if she zoned out through lack of sleep. She also sensibly did not ask Castiel what he thought or try to discuss what they were watching with him. She got the distinct impression he really wasn't paying that much attention to the TV. No doubt he was busy thinking about Dean and wondering where the twat was, though again she was pretty sure he wouldn't be using that word for his husband. But she did, and regularly, even if it was only in her mind.

So due to this sleepless distraction when a knock came at the door they both turn to each other with confusion. They had no idea who it was. Castiel was all for ignoring it, the only person he wanted to see was Dean, and he had a key. He had no need to knock. Charlie on the other hand could do with a distraction, and a chance to stretch her legs that was something other than getting up to change the DVD. Therefore it was her who went to find out who it was and what they wanted.

Of course when she opened the door she saw people she really didn't expect. They looked like removal men. Wait had Dean decided to move out? Was that what this was? His cowardly way of telling Castiel he was leaving him? The bastard. She would not stand for that.

"Yes?" She snapped, her temper having been frayed by her lack of sleep.

"Um hi. We're here to pick up Mr Winchester's paintings for the galley?" The older of the two men replied, checking the address he had on his phone to make sure he had got the right apartment.

"Oh right…yeah umm… okay come in." Charlie responded completely wrong footed. She had no idea where Dean's pictures were for his show that she suddenly remembered was happening in two days' time. Oh crap, she needed to get Castiel ready to go to the opening. She had completely forgotten about that. But first things first, time to find the paintings otherwise there wouldn't be a show to get Castiel too.

"Castiel?" She asked gently from the livingroom doorway pulling him out of wherever his mind was at now.

"Yes?" Castiel asked turning to her with a frown. He had been trying to come up with a plan to get Dean back for the last four days, but it seemed that everything he came up with was doomed to fail, mainly because they all depended on him seeing the man in question face to face. And there was no chance of that happening from what he could tell. I mean Dean hadn't come back here, not even to pick up a fresh set of clothes. So how was he going to get to see the man he loved?

"There's some guys here from the gallery to pick up Dean's paintings, do you know where they are?" Charlie asked taking a deep breath as she said the words. It was the first time in three days that either of them had mentions the dickheads name.

At her words Castiel turned his intense gaze onto his friend as his mind suddenly exploded with an idea. Dean had a show coming up, and he had promised to be there. If he went, he could talk to Dean, or at least persuade him to meet up so he could try to explain. Oh yes, this was the perfect solution. He would go to Dean's opening. His mind was already falling back into planning what he would say and how as he absently answered Charlie's question.

"They are in his studio."

At the look on Castiel's face Charlie frowned, but she could ask him about that once she had got these guys sorted and out of the place. So hearing the words she lead the men to the door which had been closed the whole time she was here. In fact she couldn't remember the last time she had been in Dean's studio, probably when she sat for him months ago. With a shrug she opened the door only to be greeted by piles of paintings in various states of completion.

"So which ones are we to take?" The removal man asked her when he had looked around and seen all the work that was in the place. He had been told that the artist would be here to show him, but from what he could see he was nowhere around.

"Good question, give me a minute." Charlie replied before walking out of the studio and back to the livingroom. She didn't know what else to do, she had no idea which paintings were for the show and she had no way of contacting Dean, not that she would. It would serve him right if they got it wrong she was tempted to tell the men to take the worst ones she could find, but Castiel wouldn't want that. He wouldn't want someone sabotaging Dean's career no matter how much the twat deserved it. So taking a deep breath she entered the livingroom once more.

"Castiel, which paintings are the ones they need to take?" She asked through gritted teeth. She did not want to make Castiel go into a place that would so obviously remind of the douche who was absent, but they really did have no choice.

"The pile by the window." Castiel responded not moving. He really did not feel ready to enter Dean's studio. He hadn't been in there since that perfect night where his husband had showed him his work for the show. That perfect night that was ruined by the memory of what had happened before.

Charlie went back into the studio to see if that would help, but going in she found there was more than one pile by the window. Great.

With a sigh she went back to Castiel. "You need to show them." She stated simply. If Castiel wanted to make sure Dean got the right paintings for his show, then he would have to sort it.

Castiel sat there looking at her for a full minute doing a very good impression of a rabbit caught in the headlights, before he stood. It felt as if it wasn't really him as he made his way to the open door of Dean's studio, as if he was having an out-of-body experience and he watched from a distance as the form of Castiel walked through the door. As if it was someone else in control of him as he made his way to the right collection of paintings, calmly showing the men which to take. His brain had shut down and his mind wasn't really in the room, only his body. But this feeling of detachment still did not stop him from automatically looking round the room, his eyes searching for the painting he had helped Dean to hang. The one of them together, deliriously happy after getting engaged. It was the one Dean always said he liked to look at when he was painting, saying it gave him ideas and reminded him of their love. Castiel still remembered the day when they had moved in here and Dean had sat on his stool in the empty room while he held the painting up so that it was in just the right spot so that it would always catch the painter's eye. But when Castiel found the spot on the wall he found it was empty. The painting, like the painter, was gone.

What did that mean? Had Dean destroyed it? But no, surely not. At least not here he hadn't, Castiel decided taking note of the room. No one had been in here since Dean had left, so if he had smashed the painting the evidence should have still been there. Which meant Dean had to have taken it with him. But why?

Sitting back on the painters stool that was behind him Castiel stared at the blank space on the wall as the men worked around him, packing up all the artwork for the show. Charlie hovered, making sure the men didn't damage any of the work, while also worrying about Castiel. She had followed his eyes to the empty space and she tried to remember what had been there the last time she was in this room. It took her a while but finally it came to her. It had been a painting of Dean and Castiel together looking so god damn happy and in love. But where was it now? Why had Dean removed it? Was it because he didn't want Castiel anymore? Or maybe because he wanted to have something to remind him of the man he loved while he did whatever it was he was doing?

It took Castiel the whole time the men where there to come to the same conclusions as Charlie. Though he discounted the idea Dean took it because he didn't want him anymore. He knew Dean, he wouldn't have wanted a reminder of him with him if that was the case. He would have just destroyed it. No the only possible explanation he could come up with, as unbelievable as it seemed to him, was that Dean still wanted him. Still loved him, and maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for them. Maybe he would forgive him for what he had done, and maybe they could once again have their happy life back. Maybe he could have the man he loved back in his arms. With the realisation that there was a chance Castiel realised that before he had given up any real hope of ever getting Dean back. He had only wished for it to be true. But now, now he could feel the spark of hope inside him, and it only took a spark to light a fire. He would get Dean back and they would be happy. Of that he was now sure.

And when Charlie returned from letting the men out she found Castiel still sitting on the stool staring at the blank space on the wall, but now there was a glorious smile on his face, what the hell?

"I think I'm going to go to bed." Castiel announced turning to her. He had not slept enough of late, but if he was to get Dean back, he needed to look his best.

With that said Castiel stood from the stool and walked past Charlie to his and Dean's bedroom so he could get some rest. He would see Dean soon and he would get him back. And Charlie watching him had no idea what was going through Castiel's mind, but she knew one thing for sure. She was damn glad he was going to sleep. It meant she could as well, and my god, did she ever want to sleep.


	28. Chapter 24

**Hello my darlings. I would like to thank AngelisticSatan and tardis-impala-221b-merlin** **for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.**

 **So, this is the last chapter. I know scary, it kinda sunk up on me too. There will be an epilogue, but I just want to take this chance to thank all you lovely people who have read and reviewed this story, it really helps motivate me to write more when I get feedback.**

 **Anyway enough from me, here is the last chapter, it swings back and forth between Dean and Cas.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

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Castiel slept for 24 hours before he emerged from his bed feeling renewed and ready to take on the world, or at least ready to convince Dean to come back to him. Having a shower and dressing his good mood, or at least the determination he felt, continued. And when he went into the kitchen to find Charlie there cooking breakfast for dinner he gave a smile as he sat and waited for the food.

"So, umm tomorrows Dean's show." Charlie ventured to say as she placed the food in front of Castiel, not sure how to start the conversation about him going there in any other way. Though considering he was still smiling she hoped that meant it wouldn't require her forcefully dragging him to it.

"It is. Are you coming?" Castiel asked as he dung in with a hunger he had not felt for the last few days when he had thought he had lost Dean with no hope of ever getting him back.

"Err, sure." Charlie replied rather wrong-footed by that question. It was obvious Castiel was going to the show. Well that was good, and if he was going to be there to confront Dean, then there was no way she would stay behind. Nope, that was never going to happen. She would be at her best friend's side while he saw his ass of a husband. Oh she would be there, and she would give Dean a piece of her mind if he so much as looked at Castiel wrong. He would not be hurting him again if she could help it.

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Dean sat back from the finished painting and looked at what he had spend the last week creating. It was without question his most powerful work, not hat he was thinking about that. He was too busy wondering what Cas would make of it. If he would understand what he was trying say with his paints. Oh god, he hoped so. He hoped that in deciding to finish this he hadn't lost his husband completely.

With a sigh, knowing he couldn't change the past Dean turned to the lumpy bed behind him and fell into it. The painting had to dry, that would give him a few hours to sleep. And he needed to sleep, he had spent too many restless nights of late, painting until the wee hours and then lying there staring up at the ceiling as he thought about Cas. No he needed sleep, he needed to be able to talk to Cas when he saw him, needed to look his best so he could get his husband back. That was his only goal for his show. To get Cas back.

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Dean arrived at the gallery early and when he got there he used all his kudos as an extremely influential artist to insist on rearranging the whole display so that his painting for Cas was on the back wall, at the centre of the show. When it was positioned to his liking he pulled the sheet of stickers from the gallery owners pocket to put a red dot by the painting, telling everyone who came to see it that it was sold. The gallery owner was not too happy that the focal point of the show had been sold already but when he had ventured to say so to Dean, the artist had just glared at him in a way that said that he would remove all his painting if he didn't get his way. And the owner really didn't want that. They had been advertising this show for weeks, so he disgruntledly agreed to Dean's decision. There were plenty of paintings for him to sell and get commission of after all. Plus this new one was not Dean Winchesters usual style, who would want to buy that?

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Castiel dressed with precision, he neglected his usual style of suits and ties instead going for tight jeans and the blue shirt Dean had brought him once telling him it matched his eyes. Of course on top of this he put his trusty trench coat. Taking one more look in the mirror and running his hand through his hair so it was completely disarrayed just as Dean liked it, Castiel nodded before moving to get Charlie and leaving the apartment. It was time to win back the man he loved.

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Dean didn't have that much clothing with him, but he knew Cas didn't care what he was wearing. Still he went for the tightest stuff he had so it would show of his body and his ass, hopefully that would catch Cas' eye even if nothing else did. Spiking his hair with nervous hands Dean looked at himself in the mirror.

"You can do this Dean... you can get him back." He muttered giving himself a pep talk, of course then he realised what he was doing and decided he should probably stop. It was time to go anyway. So grabbing his leather jacket he walked out of the motel room with the hopes that he wouldn't have to come back for anything but his stuff. Hopefully he could get his Cas back tonight, that was of course if Crowley did as he said he would and got Cas there, but no. Dean couldn't think about the possibility that Cas wouldn't be there. He had promised him he would come, and surely he would give him a chance to make up for the stupid mistake he made when leaving, not to mention all the other crap he had done. Surely Cas would see he still loved him, of course that was very much dependant on whether Cas still loved him. He damn well hoped he did. If not, he had no idea where he was gonna go from here. No don't think of that. Cas loved him, he loved Cas, they could and they would sort this out.

Dean was at the show before anyone else, he was the artist after all. Walking through the door he grabbed one of the complimentary glasses of champagne downing it before he grabbed another. He would need some courage for what was to come. He just hoped his plan worked.

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Castiel stood outside the filled gallery taking a deep breath. Charlie who was at his side didn't say a word, nor did she try to force him forwards, which he was grateful for. She gave him a chance to get up his courage before he moved towards the door and pushed it open only to be surrounded by sound. His first thought was to find Dean, but as he given a glass of champagne he found he couldn't see him anywhere, so his eyes turned instead to the art. It always amazed him that Dean could create such master pieces. Not because he did not think that man able, but more that Dean had such a depth Castiel knew he would never be able to touch. His work always left Castiel in awe of the man he loved, and as such he found his eyes drawn to the paintings. To seeing what his husband could do. The glimpse it gave him of how the man he loved saw the world.

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Dean had seen Cas as soon as he walked through the door, but rather than approach him straight away he hid, wanting Cas to see his painting before they spoke. At least he was here, that had to mean something right?

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Castiel moved round the room study painting after painting, but it was when he got to the back wall that he stopped. In fact he was so surprised by the picture in front of him the glass in his hand fell to break on the floor turning all eyes to him momentarily before everyone went back to their conversations, or at least most people did. Of course he noticed none of that. He was too busy looking at the painting which called to his soul. Which, to him at least, seemed to scream Dean's love… Dean's love for him. He could not take his eyes from the image which was a mixture of colours and at its centre were his eyes looking back at him. The painting invoked so many emotions, there was love and an almost worship, but there was also comfort and protection. It was a bold statement of love, but it also held a vulnerability as if the artist did not know if that love was returned. It made Castiel lose his breath and lose himself in the emotions he felt for the man he loved. He was so lost in the painting he didn't even hear someone approach him from behind.

"You like it?" came Dean's voice behind him, reflecting all that the painting did. It held love and devotion, but it also held uncertainty and fear. Something Castiel wanted nothing more than to remove from his husbands mind.

"I do. I love it." Castiel replied truing to look into the green eyes he had dreamed of seeing for what felt like an eternity.

"Good." Dean whispered in response, caught once more in the swirling blue he loved so much. The blue he had almost lost. Oh god he hoped he hadn't lost his Cas.

"Dean I-" Castiel started to say, looking away from Dean trying to find the words to apologise for all he had done to destroy them, for the pain he had caused them both.

"Shh Cas. No." Dean interrupted putting his finger across his husband's lips to silence him. He didn't want to hear recriminations or any of that shit. They had time for that later, right now he just wanted to know he was loved as he loved the man in front of him.

With Dean's actions Castiel turned his eyes back to Dean's to see the love shining through. He knew they had a lot to discuss, a lot to work through, but he also knew with that one look that they loved it each other, and that truly was the most important thing. Dean had declared his feelings through his work, it was up to Castiel to make the next move. As such he didn't hesitate to close the distance between him and man he loved, sealing his lips over Dean's and trying in that one simple kiss to show all he felt for the man before him.

And Dean feeling Cas' lips upon his knew that everything would be okay they would work at it, sort it all out. Because they had each other, they loved each, and in the end, nothing else really mattered.

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The meeting of Dean and Cas was watched with varying emotions by three of the people there, the rest not really caring or understanding what was happening in their midst. But Sam, Charlie and Crowley knew just what was going on, and while all three of them were happy with the obvious reconnection of Dean and Castiel, they also all felt a that they had a long way to go before the repercussions of what had happened were finally put to rest. With that in mind Sam made his way to Crowley to discuss the legal aspects of all that had happened, and Charlie, well she turned back to the paintings and drank more champagne. It would take a while before she forgave Dean his behaviour, but as long as he made Castiel happy, she would try.

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Dean and Castiel pulled apart from their kiss to stare into each other's eyes oblivious to all those around them. They saw only each other, and they both knew that that was all they wanted to see for the rest of their lives. They would work at it, they would not succumb to the complacencies that had held them before. Because if nothing else they had learnt that their love was not something they could take for granted. They needed each other, and they both pledged with their eyes that they would spend the rest of their life being there for the other.

With that decided Castiel turned back to the painting to notice for the first time the red dot by it, saying it was sold.

"Who brought it?" Castiel asked absently, not wanting anyone else to have Dean's declaration of love for him. He wanted to own it.

"I did, for you." Dean replied with smile which grew when Cas turned to him with love shining in his eyes.

Yes they would get through this and they would come out the other side stronger than they had ever been. No one else would ever be able to come between them, because they both now knew exactly what it was they had, and they knew that it was something they could never do without. It was strong and imperfect and messy, it was complete and utter love.


	29. Epilogue

**So here is the epilogue. I want to once again say thank you to all of you who have followed, favoured and reviewed this story. I thank you for sticking with me throughout and thank you for your support. I hope you like the way I have ended it.**

 **So for the last time, enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

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Dean and Castiel left the gallery soon after they had met up. They then spent most of the night talking over not just all that had happened with Lucifer, but also all the things that had gone wrong before then. The things that had led up to the event, and how they were going to change it all going forwards. They made plans to spend time together, to be there for each other, plans they both knew they would stick too because neither of them ever wanted to go through another day without the man they loved at their side. The next morning they went to collect Dean's things and return the painting of them together to the wall of his studio, they then went and collected the one from the gallery which Castiel insisted they hung in the livingroom as a sign of their love for one another.

The plans they made they did indeed manage to stick too, firstly both of them taking an extended holiday to all the places they had wanted to see but never seemed to have the time. And when they returned and Dean went back to painting he always finished in good time to spend the evening with his husband. No more working late into the night, when the clock struck five he put down his paint brushes and went to find his Cas. Not that he had to go very far to do that as since Castiel had no job to get to he had taken to spending his days lying on the couch in Dean's studio reading all the books he wanted to read but never got round to doing so. Being there with his Dean, letting the rock music wash over him, and if he often found himself watching his husband work rather than reading, that was all good.

Lucifer went to trial six months later, not that Dean or Castiel paid any attention, or really cared. They left that to Sam and Crowley, who surprisingly made a rather formidable team against the evil man. They had many more charges than just what had happened between him and Castiel, and as such had agreed to keep those out of court. No Lucifer went down for life for various crimes, including witness and jury tampering and arranging murder. There was no way he would ever see the light of day again.

Once the trial was over and everything had settled back down Crowley once more made his offer to employ Castiel and his old firm even offered him his old job back, but he refused both. He did not want to go back into the cut-throat world of such esteemed law firms, but he did find that he wanted something to do with his time. Wanted something other than sitting round the apartment watching Dean paint.

When he mentioned his wish to do something to Dean over dinner one evening his husband just replied with a smile "why don't you open your own firm?" as if it was that simple. Castiel knew that it wouldn't be, he had no client base to pull from, nor did he truly want to represent those that he used too.

But Dean seemed to have an answer to that problem too, "what about taking on legal aid cases?"

Those words lit a fire in Castiel's mind as he realised the good he could do for people who needed help but could not afford it. It took him three months, but he finally opened the doors of his own legal firm, Angel Lawyers, whose whole purpose was to give good representation to people who could not truly afford it. it didn't take long before he gained a reputation for being one of the rare honest lawyers in town, willing to work for virtually nothing on the cases he took. He had arranged his office so that all would feel comfortable in it, and on the wall opposite his desk so he could see it out of the corner of his eye, he hung that painting Dean had done for him declaring his love. So that even when he was a work Dean's love was with him.

And so Dean and Castiel settled down into their new life together, working during the day and coming home to each other at night. Being together in a way that they hadn't really been since the beginning of their relationship, back when they were just them. They were still the famous artist and his amazing lawyer husband, but they were also just Dean and Cas.

They were together and they were happy, and they made sure to make every day with each other count, never once taking the other for granted again. Just as it should be.

THE END

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 **So that's a wrap. I hope you liked it and I'll see you next time. Chao for now.**


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